Someone said this to me when Alex was just born, and at that time, I find it hard to believe and accept that time will pass me by because it was so difficult being a mother for the first time to a colic baby. It was so challenging in every way.
But now, I say it to new moms. Hah.
Because they are so true.
It feels like he turned three after I blinked my eyes ten times - so surreal because I still remember so clearly when he was born, and the struggles of breastfeeding him and him crying all night because of colic.
Last year, we wanted to bring him to the zoo on his birthday but we were in our first lockdown, so we celebrated at home. This year, we obviously still want to bring him to a zoo, but we are also still in lockdown so we stayed home (where else can we go right?).
Initially, the plan was to get him a really nice cake, order some of his favorite food and 'try' to allow him to do or eat anything he wants.
The plan then changed to scheduling a Zoom call with family and friends, ordered a custom made cake that is affordable, some of his favorite foods ordered and paid for by our sisters (Adrian and mine), and I did allow him to almost everything he wanted to do and he ate whatever he wanted.
I ordered the cake from Jasmine Cake House. I had no idea what kind of cake he wants so I went to Jasmine Cake House's FB and saved cake photos of which I think may interest Alex. Then, I showed him like 10 photos and he came back with this photo. I tried changing and convincing him to other cakes but he kept coming back to this one, so this one wins.
We paid RM100 for the cake (including delivery to the house) so in my opinion, that is a pretty good price for a custom-made cake. The monster truck and remote control are not edible.
We set the call to 6PM and we were struggling with the set-up because at first, we used Adrian's Huawei's laptop and realized that the webcam's angle is totally out and people won't be able to see us and the cake. So, we changed to my Mac and realized that I have not gotten the converter because of the need to connect the HDMI and we tried searching for ways to cast screen mirroring but how also need the HDMI cable.
Then, we took Adrian's old laptop and after setting it up, we realized that the sound system was already kaput and what is a Zoom call if we cannot hear anyone.
We then screen mirrored my iPhone but realized that we can only see 4 people on the screen. Problem I tell you. I wanted to go inside my room and hide under the blanket already at this point.
So our only choice is to connect to the TV using Huawei's laptop and got creative in stacking up and arranging the laptop so the webcam can see all of us. Then, the sound would not come off the TV - so it was super soft and we could hardly hear anyone :(
It was only after the whole sing birthday song thing that I suddenly realized that I needed to change the sound setting in the Zoom app! SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE.
It was so hard to swallow this one because I always do it for my previous boss so how can I forget this time. Goodness me.
There were more people who dialed in to be part of the birthday party, but when Eulene took this photo, many have left and I totally did not take any photos, please. And I was too busy trying to stop Sofia from finishing the entire cake heh. Also, apologies to those whom I forgot to send the link to - it was really a packed day for me, and Adrian had to work and all.
Anyways, when it was time to sing the birthday song, Alex decided to not stand in front of his 'half'-eaten cake (by Sofia haha) and insist to sit on the sofa.
I found out later that night that he wanted to sit on the sofa because he wanted to see everyone on the TV! I am guessing that he wanted to see everyone's face as we sing the birthday song for him! Oh, my heart.
Although he didn't show it, I think Alex had a great time with everyone through Zoom - not our ideal way to celebrate but it's still something! I remembered feeling so happy and thankful when I was reflecting on it at night - feeling really blessed.
THANK YOU ALL FOR LOVING ALEX.
To my Alex boy,
Happy Birthday and my constant prayer for you is that you will always find your strength in the Lord and your identity in Him. Never in us or the world. You are such a sensitive boy and that is okay. I know one day, you will be able to have more control over them. Now, you are just as confused as I may be at times.
But remember that I love you, and you actually don't have to do anything more or less because I already love you so much. You also don't have to be like anyone for us to love you.
Amazing how in one day, you can make me smile so hard and make me want to explode in frustration. You challenge me in ways I never knew is possible. And for that, I get to grow. I get to see things from another perspective. I get to be less self-centered. I get to be better.
So, thank you for being my son.
Thank you for loving me okay.
Love you forever my little man.
Till next time, bye now.