04 January 2024

This is for you, Vanessa Khoo.

We took this selfie because her office building is in the background somewhere. 

I have been wanting to write and dedicate this post to my sister since she moved to another country, but I could not do it without the heavy heart feeling and without crying. It was a painful adjustment, but here I am, and here it goes. 

*Sasa, you can go take tissue first, because I know you sure cry no matter what I say hah*

When she first told us about a job opportunity in Singapore, I was not 100% supportive. I was probably only 60% for it, but when we found out that she has always wanted to live an independent life like how this job would give, I forced myself to give her my 100%. 

When Vanessa left for Singapore, she brought a part of me with her. We have always been that clingy-overly attached trio (with Rachel). So, her moving away was a difficult one. It was a tough reality. I supported her decision, because why would I hold her back, just because it's going to be difficult. She wanted this for herself, and we are 100% behind her. 

She adjusted very well (with loads of tears for sure) there, but for me to adjust to our new norm without her, I needed a 'closure'. Okaylah, I won't call it closure. So drama like break-up ni. It was more like I need to move on happily. Hah. It does sound like a break-up and closure. 

But anyways. 

I needed to see what her new life is like. I needed to see that she's happy and well, despite the homesickness. That was my main reason for the recent trip. Because if she was not happy and really miserable, I would do everything I can to get her back, to convince her to come home. 

But she's happy, and thankful, and thriving. 

The trip to Singapore was almost a no-go, but I am really glad that we did it. Now, I can imagine being there with her, even though I am not. It’s a very complicated feeling, which I don’t love. I saw where she worked at, her daily commute, the type of food she eats, and the neighbourhood. If I could go see her office cubicle or table and sit on the chair she sits in office, I would. Hah. Told you I am overly attached. 

Vanessa Khoo Yoong May. 

I am extremely proud of you ♥️ You have grown to become an amazing woman who continues to give selflessly and loves so graciously to people around you. Singapore is now more 'majulah' and blessed because you are there. 

You are strong and you did the one thing I would never be able to do. You left a very comfortable place, and go on an adventure that you have always wanted. When you wake up every morning in this foreign land, know that you did it. 

What you did is difficult. It's impossible for me even. Leaving us, your friends, your safest place, your support system, your chicken rice is tough, but you did it. 

I want to tell you, that even though you are younger than me, you are my role model in many areas. I have so many things to learn from you, the way you live your life and how you love. Both you and Rachel are my role models, in different areas. This is why I am very blessed ♥️

So yes, both Adrian and I are very proud of you. Dad and mom are proud of you. Kah Wei and Rachel are proud of you. I can say that on their behalf because we are super proud of you. 

Sha Lynn, Daryl, Alex, Sofia and Adam miss you everyday. And you miss us terribly, for sure. But please don't feel bad about missing out on family events, and doing fun things with us. Singapore is just a plane ticket away. Heh. Your currency is 3.5 times more powerful, so still doable. Heh. 

But seriously, don't worry about us here. We will be okay. We will make this LDR work. 

Also, if one day you have enough of your adventure, and there is no reason for you to stay in Singapore, just pack your bags and come home. Home is always here for you. No matter how long it takes. 

Do I secretly wish you don't find your soulmate who lives in Singapore? Yes. But I want you to be happy. Know that we are always praying for you. 

Love you long long time, little sister. 

Majulah Singapure, and Malaysia Boleh.