20 June 2018

To Alex Koay.

FYI: This post was written before Alex makes the grand exit - probably a couple of months before. I was supposed to post this but totally forgot about it until now. Oh wells. Better late than never.

Hello son.

Okay, the first few times when we had to regard you as son while trying to talk to you through my belly, it felt awkward. At least for me it was. Not gonna lie. 

My emotions were lost because I did not know how to feel. To finally have a somebody who is truly 100% ours. 

Maybe reality had not hit us yet that time but now that you are coming in less than 2-months' time, calling you son is exciting and fulfilling. 

I may have some experience taking care of babies (thanks to your cousins), but I am not sure how is it going to be like taking care of my own. Being in-charge of every single details and having to make all kinds of decisions - be it small or big. 

I am scared. We both are. 

But there is one thing that we are sure of - and that is to cover you in prayers day in and day out. 

We will (for sure) screw up a few things here and there while trying to figure our new life together, and you will most likely hear us argue like kids, but you need to know this - and that is I love your dad and your dad loves me and we both love you (probably too much) heh. 

We will not be 'the' perfect parents and we don't intend to. We want to be the best we could for you and we will always try our best to be the best we know how. 

Ohh and we both agree strongly that we will not (we will try kao-kao) use any electronic devices to 'bribe' you so I guess you stand no chance to try 'manipulate' one of us. No idea how that is going to work but like I say, we will try la. 

We have so many things that we want to do with you, ways to discipline you et cetera, but let's cross the bridge when we get there. We shall not put our hopes too high. Heh. 

I told your dad that you will never be able to leave Penang to further your studies overseas because you are not supposed to be separated from me, ever. Oh no. Unless I go with you. 

See. This is bad. 

You're not here yet, and I am like this already. Your dad constantly reminds me that I cannot be like this - that I must know when to let go. Err. 

Whatever it is, just know that we are first-timers in this and since there are no instructions on what to do or how to do it, we are going to use the wisdom God gives us to nurture you to be a God-loving man. 

See you real soon, Alex.