CitizenM Taipei North Gate Hotel at Ximending, Taiwan

We wanted a hotel that is close to Taipei's main station and has a great view of the city - like floor to ceiling expectation kind of thing. But hotels with great view of Taipei 101 is ridiculously expensive and since we would be making most of our time exploring Taipei, it makes no sense to spend a lot in our accommodation. 

I read about CitizenM in one the random blogs that I read, and I immediately loved it! 

It's the whole vibe that this hotel gives - very modern and chic and pretty to look at. They don't have the floor to ceiling window but they have like a huge window that sees a part of Taipei city, and I don't have sell my kidneys to stay three nights there. Heh. 

I paid a total of RM1,200 for three nights (King room with city view) through Agoda, and although the room is smaller than we expected, it's perfect for two people to stay. If the kids came along, then really not enough space liau. 

I love the self check-in and check-out system. They have a receptionist there at all time, but it's still a do it by yourself thing. Ohh, and the hotel smells uniquely amazing! 

In the room, everything is controlled by an iPad - lighting in the room and toilet (got different ambiance all some more), TV and all techy stuff. 

I already mentioned about the window, and really it was the selling point for me. I love having my bed right next to the window like this. In fact, if my future room can be like this, it's like one of my biggest wins in life. 

A girl can dream. But since my house now got no city view, go holiday sure try to get heh. 

I would definitely stay in this hotel again (without kids), but when we go back to Taipei, we would most definitely try another hotel, because we love experiencing new hotels :)

Here's a short video of our room tour. Short video because like I said, it's a small room. Hah. 

Enjoy and please visit Taiwan if you have not - it's a beautiful city. Read more on my other post thank you hehe. 

Till next staycation, bye now. 

My Skin Biopsy Test Result is Out.

Many people did not know this, but growing up I have always been very happy and proud of my skin health. They are not the healthiest, but they also do not have patches and scars. They are quite dry but they were okay. They were pretty to look at, for me. 

I am sorry if it sounded like I am showing off, but I really am not. I am being real here. No cover ups. So when I had to endure this 'medical condition', it was devastating. I was struggling to accept it - which is something you all already knew if you followed me on IG. 

This is the most recent photo of my legs that Adrian had taken. The rashes now are very active on my legs and arms, and thankfully the ones on my neck started disappearing. Got one went to my ear lobe but also disappearing so yay. 

For those who do not know the story, here's a summary for you. 

I was pregnant with Adam last year when one day, a few tiny water-filled-bumps started appearing on my body. They were itchy and painful. It was at the beginning of my third trimester. My dermatologist and I (and many of you) were convinced that this is a pregnancy-induced-eczema and the rashes and bumps would disappear once Adam comes out. However, that is not how the story ends. Hah. 

Since then, I have gone to 4 different skin specialist, dermatologist and even went for a Chinese medicinal sifu. I wanted to get confirmation on the given diagnosis, and all said it was eczema, though they were giving me different trigger points. At first, I was sure that it's hormonal related, but now that I am seeing my fifth dermatologist, whom I will continue with - I am now sure that it is not hormonal related. She spent some time explaining to me on my condition, which I appreciate a lot. 

Adam is almost 4-months old and these rashes seemed to be still very much attached to me. 

So, that's the story. 

About a week ago, Dr Khoo Siew Swan from Adventist Hospital had recommended for a skin biopsy test to confirm her diagnosis, so that she could get me on a new set of medications that will work on my skin condition. 

The skin biopsy test's results came out today, and I have this condition called, "Acute Spongiotic and Psoriasiform Dermatitis". 

It's eczema, but mine is slightly more aggressive. 

She couldn't really tell me what could trigger my eczema, because it could be anything! But in my case, she believed that it could most likely be stress related. I laughed because then I told her that it could be true. When I go for holidays, the itch didn't seem as bad and as triggered. Then she laughed and said this. 

"I can write a holiday-prescription letter for you so you can send to your husband!"

Don't you think she is the best doctor in the world? We had quite a good laugh in her office today. Oh, and she also removed my stitches and allowed me to record them heh. We best friends or what? :) 

So, now that we know that we are fighting against eczema, she prescribed me with 3 tablets of Methotrexate (a type of immunosuppressant) for 2-weeks, followed by a blood test after that to check liver function and all. I will also continue taking steroid pills for now. Cannot continue take for long. 

I am also currently taking Zyrtec (anti-histamine) twice a day (morning and night). Some nights when the itch gets really bad and frustrating, I would take Atarax instead because it makes me drowsy and sleepy. 

I also found out form Google that this condition is usually (it's a possibility) also because of nutrition-deficiency, so guess who needs to be hardworking again in taking the Isotonix supplements heh. And because I want maximum absorption, I truly trust these Isotonix products. I was selling them, and now a bit quiet liau because I got other things to focus on heh. 

I have been taking the Isotonix OPC-3 twice a day and it helps me so much in maintaining my energy to last the day, especially after I started working! The best antioxidant supplement in the market thank you. Time for me to start taking Vitamin D and Calcium too. Luckily got in isotonic form. Heh. 

I just started work again after my maternity leave, and I remembered vividly that there was a time (about 3-weeks long) when I felt so defeated and it was so easy for me to cry. I could be brushing my teeth, and crying the next minute. Or I could look at Adam and cry. Some days, I would wake up with my heart beating faster than normal. Some other days, I would avoid eating because I feared it could trigger new rashes. 

But enough is enough. It has already taken over my physical body, I decided that it would not take my emotions and fighting spirit. It was affecting Adrian and my kids. It was affecting my parents, sisters and grandmother. 

My grandma would call me everytime she sees something on TV that she feels could help. One of the calls I remembered was after she watched a documentary on honey and the wonders honey can do. When my ah ma believes in a product, she really believes in a product, and very easy to convince her wan. Hah. 

Anyways, she called and asked me about the rashes and tried to convince me to eat honey hah. During that call, I was holding my breath so hard because I was literally wiping away tears from my eyes. I didn't want her to worry about me, and she sounded so worried. There is just something so comforting about her voice. But it was that call that made me realize that I need to beat this - mentally first, then the physical victory will come. 

Also, I am so thankful for you guys - the constant checking in, praying with and for me, and for cheering me on. Some of you don't even know me personally, but you reached out and DM-ed me anyways, and so many of you did not hold back in sharing your experiences and remedies with me. I tried most of them (if not all). Managing skin disease is expensive! Hah. So I cannot be getting all the different kinds of creams that you all suggest okay. But thank you for all your recommendations! 

It was a very lonely journey at first because no one could understand the pain and frustration, but you guys (friends or not), made it bearable, so thank you, thank you. I may not reply you and most likely it's because after reading your message, I got distracted by the kids and had forgotten all about it. 

But I'm not being rude okay. I have three kids now, please understand hahahah. 

Till next update, bye now. 

How Life Has Been Since Adam Came.

It has been almost two months since we became a family of five, and here are some updates that nobody asked for. Heh. 

Many people asked if it's easier now that we already have experiences with Alex and Sofia. Our answer is yes and no. 

Yes in the sense we already know what to expect and how to manage certain situations because really got experiences already with the first two. Also, the midnight feedings feel a lot easier now with Adam because we did it before and we already knew how hard and challenging it would be. It is still difficult but a lot easier now. 

What is tough is the part where we need to now handle 2 toddlers and 1 infant and they literally get our hands so full, especially when all three of them fall sick or at the cranky mode. That is when it gets really tough! 

1. Happiest I have ever been

Yes, I am confident that ever since Adam came, I am at my happiest point in my life (for as long as I can remember). 

Of course I have had many happy moments in my life (like getting married to man of my dreams), but when I see my life now - a loving, supportive husband with three healthy children, I cannot not smile and be really thankful. 

When I say happy, I don't mean that I do not still struggle in mothering them. I do, everyday. But there is joy in it somehow. 

2. The perfect night routine

We could never figure out the 'perfect' routines when it comes to who takes which shift and what works best since Adrian and myself are working parents. But we finally got it right and seems to be working so far (I hope). 

I haven't started working yet, but I like the arrangement now. Of course the ideal arrangement would be Adam sleeping through the night, from 12AM to 7AM would be perfect. Hah. 

Adrian now does the first night feeding, which is usually at 12AM, and then I will do the rest. If Adam wakes up at 7AM, then my MIL would help us feed him, while I get Alex and Sofia ready for the day. 

3. The amount of milk Adam is drinking

We started giving Adam 2oz of milk, and increased it to 3oz, and now he is drinking 4oz. 

Oh, and he is no longer taking any breastmilk because this milk factory sudah tutup. Heh. I am currently still taking the steroid medication to fight these rashes off, so yeah. Formula milk to the rescue! 

4. Adam is a little chatterbox

At just 2-months old, he can respond to your conversation - I kid you not. 

Try talking to him and you will notice that he will try to respond to you by making sounds and smiling. Oh, he is such a smiler (is there such a word? heh). 

5. End of maternity leave

Technically, I still have a few days left, but I have decided to start work on 1-Mar because to be honest, I miss working so much. I know I will miss spending the entire day with the kids, but I need to also go to work so my sanity remains intact. Hah. 

But yes, I will miss the kids for sure. 

So fast 90 days of maternity leave is coming to an end. That also means Adam is growing up way too fast and before we know it, he is going to be a toddler, and I may want to get pregnant again with another kid - kidding! 

6. FAQ - want another kid after Adam?

The answer is a definite no. 

You may think that we will revisit the idea in the future, and to be honest with you - as of now, our answers are a 100% no because the chances for the rashes to occur again is like super high, and the frustrating part about this whole thing is I am still having it and I am no longer pregnant. 

And it's so traumatising because I still see the scars and marks all over my body and the itch is still here. So no more kids thank you. Or at least no more getting pregnant. 

If we really want more kids, we would most likely go for adoption heh. Serious wan. 

Stay tuned for a new post - confirming that we do not want to get pregnant again. 

7. Alex, Sofia and Adam's dynamic

It's really still quite hard to say, because Adam is still too young to actually spend time with Alex and Sofia. All Adam does is drink milk, sleep and poop - and repeat. 

In the beginning, Sofia has a hard time adjusting to the new change, but she is so much better now and taking really well her role as the big sister. The first place she will go to when she wakes up in the morning (everyday without fail) is to Adam's crib to say good morning. It is the sweetest thing ever. 

There was one time when Adam was still in his car seat, and Sofia wanted to give him a kiss. So, she leaned forward and put her hand on top of Adam's stomach, and when she lean towards him, she sort of "went on top" of him and Adam cried! Poor Sofia, because she just wanted to kiss him. Hah. 

8. Our favourite newborn diaper brands

If you ask me of my top favourite for diaper brands, I would still say Applecrumby - hands down. 

But they are not exactly price-friendly, at least not for newborn diapers. Newborn changes diapers so often that it does not make sense to spend that money on Applecrumby's newborn diapers. Of course I have some stocks at home for when we travel or when we go out the whole day, because it's really leak-proof and so so comfortable to the skin. 

We don't change Adam's diaper that often anymore (it used to be like 8-10 pieces per day because of hos much he poops), but now maybe about every 4-5 hours.

Our current favourite diaper brands for Adam is Drypers and Mamypoko - more affordable. Heh. 

9. Adam can sleep through noises and bright lights

Another 'criteria' in our parenting style. 

We enjoy having people over to our house at anytime of the day (usually at night), and we really want (need) our children to be able to adapt to sleeping even when it's noisy. We trained Alex and Sofia when they were newborns, so it only made sense that Adam goes through the same 'training'. 

It's a success of course. Adam can sleep through loud noises and even when it is bright, he also can sleep through wan. Actually, we didn't really have any 'training' method. 

We just intentionally place him at places with noises since newborn and let him sleep. 

We also love going out so of course this 'style' has been super useful - we love it. 

10. We don't carry Adam to sleep

Yes, you see that right. As tempting as it is, I made it a strict rule to everyone that they shall not carry Adam to sleep in their arms. I have to do this because I don't think I would have the energy to do that (especially at night) with two toddlers at home. I would crash really fast considering Alex and Sofia are still quite clingy to me. 

Carry Adam to talk and play with him - for sure please do that. But the moment he is about to fall asleep, we will put him down on the bed already. 

At first, it was tough because he would cry but I am a very persistent person (so is he actually hah), but happy to report that it has been a successful thing. Adam can now fall asleep on his on without needing to be carried. Sometimes, he still cries for a while and we would carry him for a while and then put him down. Just repeat the whole process till he gets it. Hah. 

So yeah, there it is. We have been really busy, but our hearts are so full. 

Till next update, bye now. 

The Birth-Day Story of Adam Koay!

It has been more than a month since we brought Adam out to this world. It still feels surreal, but we are truly enjoying every moment we have with him now. 

The experience of carrying Adam was a lot more different and tougher than when I was carrying Alex and Sofia. If I can rank them from the easiest to the hardest, it would be Alex, Sofia and then Adam. I truly enjoyed being pregnant when it was Alex inside me, and with Sofia, I constantly struggled with acid reflux and horrible backache and with Adam, no need to say liau. The worse for sure - backache, rashes on the entire body (which did not actually go away even after he is out) and other usual pregnancy things. 

Third trimester was the beginning of everything tough carrying Adam inside. I was diagnosed with a more serious case of GDM and had to be on medications because even with diet control, my blood sugar would still spike up. I think even if I don't eat anything, the readings would also be higher than normal. 

So, my doctor recommended (or demanded really) to bring the baby out when he is at 38-weeks. I was given 2 steroid injections to strengthen Adam's lungs so he would be healthy and ready to meet with world at 38-weeks. I remembered feeling all sorts of different emotions because as much as I want him to come out earlier, I also wanted to be sure that he was healthy and strong enough. I would not be able to take it well if he has to be put on tubes and stuff. But the risk of keeping him inside me for more than 38-weeks were bigger and I am not a risk taker in this kind of things. 

On 9-December-2022, we checked into Island Hospital in the morning and did all the required things like taking a swab test (just for me). We requested for a single room so that Adrian could spend the nights with me, but they were fully booked. So we were given a double room. We then put in a special request (urgently) for a single room in case someone checks out that noon. 

Once we got to our room, the nurses did everything that needed to be done like shaving, taking blood pressure, give me some liquid up my bum-bum so I can empty them tanks and tracking Adam's heartbeat. I was super excited to get him out because I was still very much scratching everywhere, and it has been the toughest 38-weeks of being pregnant with him. 

While we were waiting for them to wheel me into the OT, we were still so focused in getting a single room. To the point Adrian kept walking out of the room to see if anyone would check out, and kept telling the nurses to keep up on top of the list. Hah. 

Someone at the end really did checked out, and they moved us to a single room. The downside was there is absolutely no view in our new room. After moving in, we requested (again) to change to another single room with view if someone checks out. Hah. We are thankful that the nurses didn't go crazy on us. They were very nice and accommodating heh. 

In the end, we didn't manage to get a new single room with view because no one checked out. Still thankful we got to stay in a single room la. 

When it was time for me to go in, we found out that the hospital's new policy now is that daddy is no longer allowed to go in during the C-Sec procedure. It was implemented after MCO. Adrian was pretty upset because we really thought he could be inside with me when they bring the baby out. 

We wanted it so badly, that he went to Dr. Eric's office to get clarifications. Hah. But Dr. Eric confirmed what the nurses had told us, so no choice la. He had to wait outside.

I was getting a lot more nervous the moment we separated at the front of the OT's sliding door. I remembered feeling super cold and while waiting for them to inject me with the epidural, I looked around and noticed that the OT's lobby was filled with so many patients. Memang good business this hospital. 

Once I got into the main OT, everything happened really fast. My blood pressure was dropping to a point I was feeling really nauseous, but the pressure picked up and I felt normal again. Dr Eric came in, and cut me open and Adam came out screaming heh. 

After cleaning him up for a little bit, the nurse brought him over to my face and I gave him a kiss. I stayed in the recovery room for a little bit before they wheeled me into my own room. Everything happened so fast! I remembered not feeling itchy anymore, and in the span of 3 days, some obvious scars disappeared too! 

But now that I am writing this, it is with so much sadness and frustration that new rashes appeared again, and I am back to seeing different skin specialist. It's really one tough battle, but I know we will get there one day - when no more rashes and no more scars be terrorising my body anymore. 

The most popular question now is how much did it cost to go for a Caesarean procedure at Island Hospital with a single room? The answer is FOURTEEN THOUSAND RINGGIT. 

Crazy right? 

Now, because GDM is considered as one of the complications that could occur in a pregnancy (as recognized by my work insurance policy), Allianz have confirmed that they would cover the cost of the procedure and stay, so yay! 

Anyways, thank you all again and again for always praying with and for us. We are beyond thankful for each one of you. 

We celebrated Adam's fullmoon by sending a box of yellow glutinous rice and chicken curry (the usual traditional style) from Li Er Cafe Penang. We love the bamboo box packaging as compared to the usual box kind. Of course they cost more but hey, packaging is everything. Heh. This time, we brought all three kids along while we go around Penang Island distributing them boxes. Thankful that my mother in law and sisters helped with some boxes. 

So yeah, everyone please meet our third born. 

Adam Koay Wey Jie

2.8kg

Hairy and loud

OCD-baby

Till next time, bye now. 

Adam's Birth Plan.

 More updates that no one is asking for. Heh. 

So, we are down to like the final few weeks (written this few weeks ago), and I was instructed to do the blood sugar test every end of the week (usually on Sunday) because I will need to go consult my GH's gynae on a Monday to continue monitoring my blood sugar level. 

I am thankful that my dad got that prick-own-blood-machine so I get to do it at home (or wherever I go). 

This is how it goes. 

Test the blood sugar level once before breakfast, then 2 hours after breakfast, 2 hours after lunch and 2 hours after dinner. Then, just record the readings in my pink book. 

For a consecutive of 2-weeks, my readings post-meal has been high. Higher than it should have been considering that I really controlled what I eat on the day I have to do these tests. So, ultimately my gynae consulted a specialist and they agreed to get me on Metformin (1 tablet, twice a day). 

I thought that was it. Just take more medications to control the blood sugar. But that was not it. Hah. 

"So with Metformin, kita kena ambil baby keluar latest by 38 weeks ya"

My face got curled up, and I was legit confused. She explained more and in GDM cases like this one, the doctor do not want to take any risks so the safest thing to do for baby and mom is to bring baby out by 38 weeks. 

Well, I was definitely not ready for that "statement". 

I was alone in the Klinik Kesihatan so I nodded and agreed, and left the place. I called Adrian immediately to tell him the news and hung up after that. 

Then I took a long deep breath and cried. 

I felt lost and helpless. 

But after those tears, I felt so much better. I took many deep breaths. Heh. 

It was a scary thing to hear especially when I didn't have Adrian with me. Such a baby I know. Hah. We talked more after that, and decided to go back to Dr Eric for second opinion (sort of). 

I was also alone during the initial time with Dr Eric because Adrian got caught in the traffic jam but he made it halfway through the consultation. 

Dr Eric agreed with my GH's gynae and proposed to bring the baby out at 38 weeks. He also prescribed 2 doses of steroid jabs to strengthen the baby's lungs. I took 1 on the day itself and boy, that jab was painful alright. My bum and right thigh was sore after that. Definitely not looking forward to the second jab next week. Hah. 

Many people asked us if we plan to deliver at GH or at Island Hospital, and to be honest with you, the original plan was to go to GH all the way. I was comfortable with delivering the baby at GH. 

But things changed la okay. Hah. My work insurance covers the entire cost of the delivery because it is categorised under 'Complications of Pregnancy', so we will definitely be checking into Island Hospital. 

So yeah. Delivery date has been scheduled to be on the 9 December because Adam will be chun-chun at 38-weeks. The Caesarean surgery will happen at 1PM. 

My Skin Specialist has reduced my Dhasalone's dosage, and I started noticing new rashes appearing on my arms - oh what a nightmare. But I keep telling myself to tahan for just few more days! 

As I am updating this again, it's two days left, and today is my last day of work so that's a huge relief. Stress has been somewhat contributing to my itch in the day, but at the same time, work is the one that takes my mind off it. So no win-win in this. 

I will have a one-day off tomorrow - just finalising all that's needs to be done before Adam comes. How crazy is it that we are going to be a family of five, real soon? 

MADNESS. 

But yeah, see you all when Adam joins the gang! :) 

Tough Third Trimester!

The month of November (for me) has been surprising - in a good and bad way I supposed. 

We got into the third trimester, and boy was it a tough entry. I was somewhat happy and glad because that means we are so much closer to holding our baby boy and no more to nausea things. 

But we were greeted with the diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes Mellitus and I had to go on diet control - which isn't all that bad. I was already used to replacing my white rice with quinoa rice and I usually already don't take sweet drinks, so I can forgo the sugar. 

Then, the dessert cravings happen, and all I want to put inside my mouth are cakes, donuts and brownies. All of which will kill me and the baby if I don't stay away. Haha. Drama kan? I am proud to say that I managed to resist the temptations for as long as I could - with occasional one bite here and there. 

I also started to like eating rolled oats with Bovril and deep fried ikan bilis, so that's really another win in my book. My dad introduced this diet wan. Hah. 

Then, there's some of those episodes where my back would hurt so much whenever I sit or stand, so the only thing I could do is to lie on my side for a while. Then, just repeat them many times. It was hard because I had to juggle doing that at work and it was just so distracting and troublesome. 

Thinking that I just have to pull through the last 3 months with just controlling my food intake and tolerating with backaches, I was thankful. I was like, "Oh I can do this". Because with Alex, I also had GDM and we pulled through alright. 

Wrong! 

One day I woke up with some new blisters on my legs. Both sides. I thought it was odd, but didn't seem to need to go see a doctor to get it checked. Then, the next day, more water filled blisters and rashes came out on my arms, then the back, then the hands and last place was my belly area. 

There were like those super uncontrollable itchy-blisters and rashes and I was going out of my mind - just trying to 'manage' the itch. I obviously could not manage the itch and was just out of it. I was easily triggered - by Adrian and the kids because I was struggling so badly. 

We went to 2 gynaes (1 from GH and 1 from a private hospital) but they didn't take a second look at my rashes and concluded that they are pregnancy-related-rashes and will go away when baby comes out. They gave me some medications to 'control' the growth and itch, but to be honest they were not very effective. 

I was still having so much issue with the itch and mentally, I was so out. I wanted to bring baby out like immediately okay! We are not even talking about being itchy on one place. We are talking about scratching the entire body. I was itchy on both my arms, my back, my belly and my legs! I was scratching so hard that I didn't even care when blood comes out of those blisters. I just wanted (and needed so badly) for the itch to go away. 

I rather feel the pain than the itch. It was insane. 

Adrian wanted to help so badly but there was nothing he could do, really. I could see him feeling defeated and helpless. I was also not able to help him not feel that because I was struggling myself. 

On top of that, the daily things I do with and for the kids were also affected. I could not cuddle with them, wear clothes for them, be physically close to them and worse part is I had to tell them that they cannot touch me, because a single soft touch would trigger the itch. I was heartbroken. 

And yes, there were many nights of tears and lots of praying. 

I am thankful that my kids were understanding. 

Alex came over to me one night while I was sitting by my bed (daydreaming) and said, "Mamy, everytime I hug you, your pain will go away okay? So, can I hug you?" 

How could I say no? 

I said yes, I agree with you. So he gave me an awkward hug - the kind where he try not to let his arms touch my skin so I won't be in pain. I held my tears back, but decided no matter what, I am going to hug my kids at least once a day - even if it has the risk of triggering the itch. 

And we did just that. 

Everytime after a hug, Alex would ask me if I am feeling better, and I would say yes. And he would go, "See mamy! I told you. Hugs will make things better wan!"

Things started getting better when a few of you suggested for me to go see a skin specialist, and I don't know why I never thought of it but we immediately did that weekend. We googled the nearest skin specialist that is still open and drove to the clinic at once. 

I was so relieved after seeing Dr Chong from the MD Dermatology Skin Specialist Clinic. At first he was shocked to see the rashes on my body and was a bit surprised that both my gynaes did not refer me to any skin specialist. 

His diagnosis is Pregnancy Eczema and yes, it will go away once baby comes out. He prescribed me with Dhasalone pills (yes they are steroids and yes it is safe to take in my third trimester of pregnancy) to stop the growing of the blisters and rashes, and then Fucicort cream (steroid cream). 

Oh, and someone suggested Suu Balm Rapid Itch Relief Moisturizer and we got that and have been glued to it ever since! 

With the medications and the Suu Balm Moisturizer, things started getting better. I was slowly becoming myself again. I was able to try enjoy carrying this baby again and on some nights, I got to hold Adrian's hand a while while we sleep. Yes, holding his hand gives me a certain kind of assurance that everything will be okay. It's weird and clingy but say what you want. Heh. 

I am now not scratching desperately anymore, and can somewhat control scratching lightly. 

Also thanks to social media and you guys, taking a cold shower apparently will help, and I have been taking many cold showers every few hours, or when I feel like the itchy-wave is about to come. I would stand under the cold water and let them run for a while on my body. It's life-changing. 

I am okay with cold showers now. Hah. It's really very refreshing and it lets me take deep breaths which I think helps me handle the whole situation better, mentally. 

As much as the physical side looks bad, I am aware that everyday is a battle in my mind. I had to remind myself constantly to remain thankful and remain knowing that God is watching over us and God is with me and I am safe, and he is safe. I still have bad days when I just want to give up (don't know give what up also) but just that feeling of feeling so defeated and just want it all to be over. 

But the good days are more now so it's okay. 

Thank you all for your encouraging and calming words, and for praying for me and baby. Please know that I truly appreciate all of them. I may not say it out or show it but I truly am. 

Till next update, bye now.