Alex Turned Two!

Apparently, Adrian read an article sometime after Alex's first birthday party and before his second birthday - that when we give a child a big birthday celebration every year of his growing up life, it would most likely make him a spoilt child - because with a big celebration every year, we would be setting expectations that are high (and will only get higher) and that, is unnecessary. 

So, we agreed that our children will not have a big birthday celebration every year but a few in their growing up years - like their first and maybe seventh or something - I don't know. 

Growing up, I never had the chance to have a big birthday party and I have always held it against my parents - because both Rachel and Vanessa had. Okay - I am no longer bitter, please. This has now become something we laugh about in our family. Heh. 

So, of course, I want all my children to have birthday parties where they can invite their friends and all okay. Since my babies are still young, I will invite my friends on their behalf. Hah. 

Anyway, while I am in the midst of planning Sofia's first birthday, I remembered that I had forgotten to talk about Alex's second birthday party that we had. 

We only celebrated with some people because the whole of Malaysia was going through the CMCO at that period of time. We decided to do a small barbeque 'party' outside our place and invited Alex's Indian grandparents over too - our neighbor. 

I also realized if not for the CMCO, I would have invited more people and it would have defeated the entire plan of not having a big birthday party. 

I CANNOT PLAN SMALL BIRTHDAY PARTY LA. 

I said it, Adrian Koay. 

But with Adrian being so hands-on now (he used to leave it all up to me to plan party wan), for sure I cannot exceed the invites la. Hah.

The good news is I am planning everything for Sofia's first so we will see. Heh. If CMCO extends, then I am going to just book staycations at Angsana Teluk Bahang! Hah. 

A few days later (I think), we had another intimate party with some close friends and celebrated 2 May babies together - Le Roy and Alex. The night when we had way too many chicken wings. 

I am guessing with Sofia's first party, we will probably do a few but I would personally prefer to do one time only. Oh, wells. 

Thank you all for loving my son like your own - you know who you are. Adrian and I appreciate each one of you and thank you in advance for helping us to discipline him when you see the need to because really, it takes a village to raise a child. 

To Alex Koay, next year your birthday is going to get smaller ya heh. Love you with all of me. 

Till next time. 

In Loving Memory of Pastor Lim Heok Cheow.

The impact is bigger than imagined. 

It is surreal that Pastor Heok Cheow is no longer reachable via his phone, FB, or home visits. Every time when I think of that, I become sad. It is one of the hardest goodbyes.

My only regret is not calling/visiting him earlier.

We have arranged for a dinner party at his house on the day he passed away. If only we did the dinner party a week earlier. So many 'if only' so I'm going to stop.

I mentioned this in my eulogy so here it is again.

When I first met Pastor HC who was the Youth Pastor back then in 2003 (I was 15yo), I was scared of him. He looked strict and serious, but later on, I found out that he is such a funny and relatable man. You would know because he is loved by so many people especially young people.

You would also know how he loves to exaggerate certain things in his stories (most of the time real-life stories okay) and he always managed to bring the life out of each story that he had ever told. It's as though we were there when we were really not. 

There was once when he (the only adult among us at that time) brought the youth leaders (a bunch of young people) to Langkawi for a "leaders getaway" where we would spend some time there praying and seeking God's direction in our lives and ministry. 

Once we were driving down Cenang Beach and he told us that there is this mall where they charge an entrance fee of RM2 per person. You will get a packet of tissue upon payment. Immediately, we were all like, "Who would pay RM2 to use a toilet?" 

He went on to praise this supposedly 5-stars toilet and convinced ALL of us to give it a try. Can I just say again that we were just a bunch of young people with very limited moolahs! But guess what. 

We did. 

We paid RM2 per person to go see this really-amazing-must-experience-toilet that Pastor Heok Cheow talked about.

IT WAS HORRIBLE PLEASE. My house toilet is so much better than this toilet. The floor was wet, the sink was wet and slightly dirty and the cubicles were meh. 

Of course, he was bombarded by our "complaints" when we got into the van again. I remembered he just burst into the biggest laughter as though he has successfully tricked us all. It was such a precious moment. One of the many precious moments we have had with this God-loving man. 

From then on, every time he tells us a story, we would jokingly ask him to tone it down and not kesi-kesi add elements to it. I loved that he was such a relatable and down to earth that we could be ourselves when with him. He was not judgemental and he was not critical. 

Surely, he had taught and corrected us in our ways but never once, I ever felt condemned or looked down even by Pastor Heok Cheow. 

Working alongside him (a few times as a staff) has been great and a blessing. 

I do not cry in front of people (other than family) but this man and Ps Cowan have seen me at one of my weakest times and I am forever thankful because these two are God-sent. Excuse me, Pastor Cowan - this is not a eulogy for you so you don't perasan. Surely you will live long, please. 

It sucks that I was not able to "send" him off by being there but I know in my heart, he will never be forgotten. I have finally un-sync his calendars on my phone. And I will never forget the sound of your super-exaggerated-laughter that will shake the room and your love for big prawns every time you have your nasi kandar and your quick snooze in front of your desktop and your mega-deep biblical materials. 

I miss you, Noonday Sun. 

Enjoy dancing with Jesus :) Till we see you again one day. 

Blessed 28th, Me.

Bye February. You've been superb okay. 

I celebrated my twenty-two birthday this month this year (yeah right) with a group of people that I truly care about and love being with. 

I laugh a little harder and uglier whenever I'm with them, so yes they made the night more special. 

For those who were not invited, sorry okay! I do not have the budget to do a big one and that doesn't mean I don't care about you. It's just everyone has that list of closer friends right? Heh. Uncle Lim, don't angry ah you not invited to the pajamas party. Hah. 

Yes, you've read that right. I have always wanted a pajama party since ever. I cannot make my wedding pajamas themed right? So, perfect to do it at my own birthday party. Heh. 

I also feel that it is really important that in any event, you need to be engaged with a really good photographer so you can forever remember the special day. Your special day. It was the nicest thing when Eulene said yes to taking photos for my twenty-eighth and now that the professional is on it, I have one less thing to worry about. 

One of the struggles for the night was food preparation. I wanted to cook but then again I was so not in the cooking mode. 

It was either Passion of Kerala or Thai Food. 

I did my round of asking around and guess who the winner was. Obviously not Passions of Kerala, although I have been looking for people to eat with me. In Penang, it's quite good okay. No fight if they go KL. Heh. Devi's FTW.

Okay, I think I will spare the details because I myself am very excited to go see all the photos! AMAZING WORKS by Eulene :)

 

 

Thanks again Eulene for all the photos! 

It was such a great night. I went to bed smiling that night :)

Thanks to everyone who helped made it a meaningful-before-kahwin-birthday-party! Love you guys to bits :)

Now, I am looking forward to other things that are going to happen this year. Baby number two and signing of that life-changing paper to name a few. It's going to be a great year. I just know it. 

God be at the center of all this. 

In Loving Memory of Frankie Koay.

I finally got some time to sit down and think of what I want to write for this special someone. It has been three days since the passing of Adrian's daddy. It's afternoon now on the second day of the funeral and friends/families usually do not come at this hour so I find myself a corner furthest away from the small crowd under a canopy that shields the deadly sunlight from my already-char-huey-tah-skin. 

If I may be real honest here, I would like to share some raw thoughts on Uncle Frankie. No one has ever known or heard this from me. Not even Koay. 

When I first met Adrian's family, I was excited and nervous at the same time. Prior to to the meet, I know that his family practices Buddhism and I never have a problem with that. My only struggle (at that time) was knowing that his dad was a bit against Christianity (reasons will not be mentioned here of course) and I am a Christian so yes, I was afraid that our relationship may not be approved or receive their blessings because Adrian and I have different beliefs (at that time before Adrian encountered Jesus) and yes I was scared that his parents will not like me as much. 

I was wrong. From day one, Uncle Frankie has treated me like his own daughter. Whenever we have family dinner, he will always suggest More More Thai (our favorite Thai restaurant) because Adrian told him that I'm a big fan of Thai food. Even when he is tired, he will still make the effort to play few rounds of mahjong whenever I'm at his house. I'm blessed for sure.

Read on, the best part is coming :)

Uncle Frankie has always been a healthy person despite having to go through dialysis three times a week. He had always eat rightly and exercise whenever he has the energy to. Can you believe it that he has gone through the 4-hours-of-dialysis for 11 years now?

It is sad that this time when a bacteria infected him, his body was too weak to fight against and that led to many other complications. It is heartbreaking, but I know he is now safe with Jesus. He is most likely dancing and singing with the angels in Heaven now. Party all day long. Heh. 

When Adrian became a Christian years ago, his dad was one of those people that he felt/thought will not be so approving of this decision. Turns out, his dad was the most supportive and even followed him to church a few times. Even then, Uncle Frankie remains a Buddhist. 

Adrian prays with his dad and mom every night before they go to bed and that has been a culture that both his parents adapt with. So, normally they will always gather either in the living room or his parents room to pray then they will say goodnight and I love you. 

His parents, most supportive bunch ever. 

When Adrian first asked his dad if he could go through the water baptism, his dad answered him, "Maybe not yet." So, Adrian waited for about another year and asked his dad again. This time, his dad gave the permission and both his dad and mom attended his water baptism and rejoiced with him. That was a memorable day. 

Did you know that on the day we bid the final goodbye to Uncle Frankie, the day his body was turned into ashes, that was also the same day Adrian was baptized, exactly a year ago? Talk about God's perfect timing hah. 

Anyways, when Uncle Frankie was admitted into the hospital, he was in and out of consciousness every now and then and his body was weak. There was one morning where he woke up and told Adrian to gather his mom and sister to be at the hospital. 

As soon as they came, he had asked for their permission to accept Christ as his personal Savior and then Pastor Joseph came and led him on a sinner's prayer. He also went through water baptism okay. This is an amazing story because Uncle Frankie used to be known as someone whom doesn't like Christianity. You cannot even mention about it in front of him. 

Despite all that, he had asked to accept Christ and now we all know he is in Heaven, painless. 

Death is never an easy chapter, especially when it's someone so important to you. 

Hi Uncle Frankie, 

It's been a blessing to me and my family ever since we knew you about three years ago. I am so thankful that my friends even got the chance to know you when they all went over to the house for CNY gathering. 

I am very sad that you won't be there when Adrian and I make our vows, or spoil our children like any grandparents would. I am very sad that I never got the chance to call you father and be a good daughter in law. I am very sad that my children will never get to feel your hugs and kisses and know you like how Wallace and Chloe did. 

But it's all okay because I know that you are where God wants you to be, in His arms with no more dialysis and no more tubes in and out of your body. 

We miss you and we always will. We will see you again in Heaven one day :)

Singing off, your daughter in law to be.