For Husbandku.

Warning: geli-geli message incoming okay - You have been warned ah. 

This one is for my soulmate. 

Dear husbandku,

I never knew what it was like to experience true love until we tied the knot. Not to say that I did not truly love you when we were dating, but marriage has definitely opened up my eyes to what true love really means - between the both of us anyway. 

There are so many things that I am thankful for, that involves you. Of course, most of it has you in it as you are a very big part of me. 

People always say that when your children come, you tend to give less attention to your husband because your children need you more. 

Nah - my children need me for sure because they are still so young but you need me equally as much. This I know and discovered after we lost Little Dot (first pregnancy) and saw how it affected you as much as it was to me. People were more focused on me because I had to deal with the physical part of the loss but they forget to see that you needed to mourn too - but I saw that. 

From then on, I knew that my time, attention, and love have to be divided equally between our children and you - and I hope that I (somehow) managed to do that. 

I know, many times you felt that I have forgotten about you but know that I have not and I never will. It's just many times, sleep becomes a stronger temptation. Hah. 

Having to live a life with you for the past 4 years has been really interesting. I discovered many new things about you and you on me and it's "lovingly" intense to see how we have progressed on our types of arguments. 

There is a term that says something like, 'Pick your fight wisely' and I know for sure the kind of fights that I like to pick with you usually involves toothpaste cover, wet towels, and blanket. 

Now, we have up-leveled to saying things indirectly to each other through Alex or Sofia. 

"Alex, guess who never hang their wet towel again?"

In these kinds of situations, Alex will usually say, "Huh?" and it made everyone laughed. They are no longer intense arguments that could potentially blow into a bigger war. Heh. 

I love how we are both very honest with each other - in our opinions for everything. I know that I can always count on you when I needed to hear the truth though I was longing for a lie. I wanted you to tell me that I looked better with the new haircut (need to boost confidence a bit) but instead, you will tell me that it is not that nice, and gave me a pat. Heh - like friend friend ah. 

Thank you for always being true to me, and giving me that room, and trusting that I will only get stronger (and wiser) every time you feel the need to give me constructive criticism. Basically, you do not sugar coat your words and for that, I am so thankful because I can only get better. 

Living together may seem all nice and fun but the truth is, it was hard (for me at least). It was hard to leave the comfort of my own room to share a room, a limited space with you - because we both have our fair share of habits and whatnot. It was hard and stressful (at first) but I am always thankful that I got to share it with you. You are a fun room-mate for sure. Heh. 

You are also a very giving person, like when we pre-ordered our wardrobe and I insisted to choose a layout that is not very practical. You told me your opinion and I chose to ignore them. When they came to set it up, and I finally saw how not practical it was for me (for my dresses and all), you quickly came in and said that you will take that side of the wardrobe and insisted that I took yours. That is another moment that I knew I married a gold. 

Thank you for always staying committed to this relationship, to me and our little family. You give your all for us, and I know I don't always give my all for you. Sometimes, I am even at fault for adding to your work stress. I know and I am sorry. 

But you already know that the word 'sorry' is hard to come out of my mouth. So when I do, it's very precious okay. Hah. 

You must be thinking, 'why this geli-geli message today ah' - well because flowers and meals on Valentine's Day are over-priced and we are too smart to fall into paying for overpriced things on a day the whole world celebrates love. 

I celebrate you today (and everyday of course), because no matter how difficult and bumpy this road may get, I will still hold your hand until we reach our destination. I will wipe your tears (with Applecumby wet wipes because too many supplies in our storeroom - inside joke hah) and I will make you laugh when you get too stressed out okay. 

I will also remember to feed you Isotonix drinks because you need to live longer than me. Hah. 

I love you, Adrian Koay, and even though we say it to each other every day, the meaning of this words remained the same - from the first time you said it till today. 

Happy Love Day, husband oi.  

I love you, my forever. 

Why Alex Cry So Much?

The other day,  Alex had a meltdown (what's new right hah) while playing with his cousins. I carried him and we went into the room. I sat next to him on the bed and I told him, that we will go out once he finishes his cry. 

"Mamy go outside. I want Mamy to go outside!"

"Why? Why do you want me to go outside?"

"Because I want to cry first"

So, I left the room. Then, I heard a muffled cry - I believe he planted his head onto our blanket and cried. About 4-seconds later, he called for me. I went in and he gave me a hug and wiped his own face. 

This entire incident left me thinking the whole day and night. 

In some ways, it kinda broke my heart to go through the entire scenario with my firstborn. It is heartbreaking but now I know, I needed to see that. 

You see - the truth is I have always struggled to embrace this part of Alex since he was born. He cries so often and so easily that it really made it hard for me to 'accept' and often time I find myself shutting down mentally every time he has a meltdown. Sometimes, these meltdowns last for 10-seconds, and sometimes they can last up to 30-minutes. 

and the reasons for his meltdown can be anything - someone said no to him when he asked for something, someone snatched his toy, someone told him to wait et cetera.

It is mentally very (very) exhausting, and it can get very frustrating. 

I have always thought that there must be something that I must have not done correctly in his upbringing to have him cry every time he gets frustrated, sad, or angry. So, I tried everything that I can think of and nothing really works. 

Then, this happened. 

When he asked me to leave the room, I was shocked because usually, he would want me around but when I was asked to leave, my heart broke a little. 

Then, I realized something that changed me - overnight. 

Children react differently because they are all different individuals and I have seen many different kinds of reactions from children when they get frustrated, sad, and angry. 

Some kids hit, some kids bite, some kids merajuk, and some other kids probably yell.

But for Alex, I have not seen the abovementioned when he gets all frustrated, sad, or angry. He doesn't hit or bite, or merajuk, or yell back - but he would cry. 

He cries because he is frustrated that he doesn't get to eat that ice-cream. 

He cries because he has to shower first before he gets to take his pacifier. 

He cries when other kids snatched his toys. 

He cries when Sofia takes his chair. 

He cries. 

That is his way of handling the difficult emotions because he is 3-years old, and still figuring a way to handle them on his own. I should be thankful (and I am now) that he does not hit back or yell or bite people every time he gets upset. 

I felt so guilty after realizing this because all this while when he has his crying moment, I would try my best to shut them down and I told him that he is a big boy now and a big boy cannot simply cry. I must have done it so often that he felt the need to ask me to leave the room because he needed to cry it out - alone. 

It made me feel that for him, he thinks that if I stayed in the room with him, all I want to do is to ask him to be quiet and not cry anymore - that I am sort of robbing away his way of letting out his emotions.

I cannot tell you how much that breaks me inside. 

It's like Adrian telling me to be quiet every time I cry because I got upset or frustrated with something or at someone. He does not okay. If Adrian finds me crying, he will hug me and let me cry it out. 

So, I should be like this to my son all the time - no matter how tiring it can get. 

Also because of this, I now realize that my son is a (much more) sensitive person, and if he needs to cry it out to get rid of his frustration, I should (and will) let him do so. 

With that said, since I will not stop him from letting out his emotions, what I think I can do is teaching him to cry at the right place. Hah. Like if he needs to cry it out, then he should do it in a room or something, and most importantly, I need him to know that it is not a punishment to cry inside a room - instead of crying in public out loud. Hah. Still kena control place sikit. 

It's like if Alex needs to yell his feelings off, I would probably get him a pillow and ask him to yell into it till he is fully done. Heh. I will not like to ask him not to yell because then, how else would he let off his frustration, right?

I don't know la. I need to keep trying for sure. 

Parenting is really one of the toughest (if not toughest) things ever because there is not black and white eh. Every child is different and you have to try every method to see what works and let us not forget the constant worry of what if the method leads them to traumatic experiences and all. Hah. 

At least now I know for sure how I am going to handle the entire crying thing with him. 

FYI - I say all this about my son but that does not mean I do not love him or love him less. There is absolutely nothing in this world that can make me love him lesser than I already am. If anything, I will always love him more and more - like to an insane amount of which I never thought a human can contain. 

And for you mothers (and fathers) reading this, if you are also struggling like us in this part of parenting, we are with you. Do not get discouraged when you keep 'failing' okay. You are not failing that is for sure. You are trying and we are all always trying and learning. 

Adrian and I believe in taking breaks in between these parenting daily things because we don't want to be burned out. For me, an ideal 'break' would be taking a 2D1N staycation but we all know that is not possible because I would miss them too much. 

We got this, people! 

Till next time, bye now. 

My LASIK Eye Surgery Story.

I have waited years for me to finally sit down and write this post - to say in this safe place that I finally did it. 

And I really did. 

It was such a long journey to get to this destination - and there were two main reasons for it. 

First was the fact that it is very expensive - like five-figures expensive and it would take me so long to save that kind of money because I have zero discipline whatsoever. The second was that I became pregnant very quickly after getting married (intended to of course) and then got pregnant again (very quickly too) with the second baby before Alex even turned one. Then, with breastfeeding and all, it was on hold for longer than I had wanted to. 

My piggy bank has not grown a lot also actually but it was enough for me to proceed with it because Optimax Penang has zero interest installments heh. 

I was mentally ready to get my vision corrected and to not rely on contact lenses and glasses anymore because, for too many years, I have been really dependent on them. 

Enough is enough. Hah. 

I have gathered enough information from the internet and friends to know the can-dos and cannot-dos and what to do before scheduling an appointment. 

Ten days before I plan to call Optimax Penang to schedule an appointment, I had already gotten rid of (kept in the drawer) my monthly reusable contact lens and was wearing glasses only - 24/7. It was uncomfortable and my vision was not super clear. 

But of course, I had to endure it heh - worth it la, please.

On the day of the appointment, Vanessa went with me because I was told that I would not be able to drive after the detailed eye checking and testing. The tests were all painless. For the final eye examination, they had to dilate my eyes (sounds like giving birth right? - check dilation and all heh) so that my pupils will be bigger and they will be able to check thoroughly the condition of my optic nerve and retina. 

This is also painless. They put some drops onto both my eyes and waited for like 15-minutes and I was ready to go through one last check. One thing I hate most about this pupil dilation is that my vision turned super blur and I had to see everything very near - like I could not see my phone screen unless it is right in front of my eyes and I have to remove my glasses - not convenient at all. 

That is why they asked for someone to get you home because there is absolutely no way you can drive home after having your eyes dilated. No way at all. Please don't gau-gau try all. Cannot means cannot liau. 

After all the eye examinations are done, I went into the office with the Optometrist (mine was Yeong) and he explained everything he found from the tests and he also went through with me the three Lasik Eye Surgery there is in Optimax Penang - then he would recommend which one he thinks its best for my eyes. 

FYI - not everyone can get their vision corrected via Lasik eye surgery okay. If your cornea is too thin, then you are not able to ever get your vision corrected via Lasik. Maybe got other kinds of 'treatment' but I was not told because my cornea is quite thick. 

And I know you surely want to know what can cause your cornea to get thinner - the answer is nothing. It's genetic. You are either born with a thin cornea or a thick one. Simple simple. 

The normal range for cornea thickness should range from 470 microns to 630 microns. Mine was at 580 (left eye) and 583 microns (right eye). Phew. Yeong also mentioned that the cornea cannot be too thin after the procedure and mine would be left at about 463 microns (for both eyes) after the Lasik surgery so it is all still good. 

I was genuinely afraid that my corneas would be too thin for the procedure - because then I would be for real stuck with glasses and contact lenses my whole life, but thankful that it was not the case. 

Also, if your cornea is funny-shaped like not full healthy kind, they will also not proceed with any Lasik treatment for you. Hence, it is very important for you to do an eye examination before getting your hopes too high. 

Once Yeong shared with me the good news - he proceeds to explain the 3 Lasik procedures of which I will summarize (sort of) below. 

A) CUSTOMIZED FEMTO-LASIK

• Also known as Customized All Lased LASIK.
• A Femtosecond laser is used to create a flap on the cornea.
• The flap will then be lifted up to expose the inner layers of the cornea.
• Another laser called Excimer laser will be used to re-shape the inner layers on the cornea (changing the eye's power). 
• Then, the flap will be placed back down again and close the cornea. 
• Recovery time is 1-3 days for the vision to be fully restored. 
• Cost - RM 4,588 per eye. 

B) ADVANCED SURFACE ABLATION (ASA)

• No corneal flap creation is needed. 
• The top layer of the cornea (called Epithelium) will be removed. 
• The Excimer laser is used to re-shape the inner layers of the cornea. 
• After the procedure, you are required to wear a bandage contact lens for a month. 
• This procedure is recommended for people with thin corneas. 
• Recovery time is 1 month. 
• Cost - RM4,588 per eye.

C) ReLex SMILE

• A less invasive way to treat short-sightedness and astigmatism. 
• No corneal flap is required. 
• The Femtosecond laser is used to create a lenticule in the inner layers of the cornea and penetrate through without any cutting involved. 
• A small micro-incision (4mm) is created on the side. 
• The lenticule earlier will then be removed through the micro-incision and vision will then be corrected. 
• Recovery time is 1-3 days. 
• Cost - RM6,588 per eye or RM6,888 per eye (depending on which doctor you choose)

So, with the 3 procedures shared, I obviously was going to choose the less invasive and fastest recovery time. 

I mean hello, I've got 2 young babies and they are not going to allow me to rest my eyes whatsoever. They are a pair of balekos you know. Hah. I love it though. 

So yeah, I chose the ReLex SMILE LASIK procedure because it is one the latest technology and since these are my eyes we talking about, surely I was going to choose the more experienced doctor to handle the entire procedure - but he was not available that week. 

I made the appointment to go through the LASIK surgery with Yeong on that day itself and he confirmed the appointment with me a few hours later via WhatsApp. 

I had wanted to do it on that weekend itself but I had a work duty that I could not get out of, so had to apply for annual leave, no choice. 

We made some arrangements for the kids to have sleepovers at their grandparents' and cousins' house for 2-nights because we figured that I could use a full-8-hours-rest for a night without them first - to make sure that I heal properly. 

Adrian was very paranoid about the whole healing process because he was just so afraid for me. Heh. It was cute (at first) then we got too intense because he would scold me every time I use the phone for one second. Hah. 

Anyways, so that was the pre-LASIK eye examination that everyone had to go through and it took about 2-hours or so. 

After the examination, I still had to continue wearing my glasses till the day of surgery but one more week only so that's fine la. 

We drove down to KL on Monday night (after work), and went to Optimax TTDI on Tuesday morning - apparently it is the only Optimax in KL that can do this ReLex SMILE procedure. I was accompanied by my husband of course, who was working there in the waiting area. 

After doing another round of some eye tests there to confirm the earlier tests, I was asked to make the payment first - which made sense because later people do already, refuse to pay how. 

I wrote down (earlier) my cousin's name in the "How do you know about us" because I had initially thought she did the LASIK procedure with Optimax but later found out that she went to Sunway Hospital and Optimax gave a discount of RM100 per eye - which I didn't even know got such promo! I guess this means Optimax KL did not check haha. 

I was then ushered into another waiting area with a man and another woman who was waiting in line to go through ReLex SMILE surgery. I was the second one in line. 

In the fancier-waiting-lounge, we were asked to change our clothes into a surgery gown and we were also briefed about the entire procedure by our doctor (Doctor Chuah Kay Leong). 

Before entering this lounge, I was getting more scared but after talking to Doctor Chuah, I was a lot more relaxed because he was telling us every single step that was going to take place. He was very detailed so there were no surprises at all. 

After that, they put some numbing drops into our eyes and we continued waiting for our turns to go into the Procedure Room. 

When it was my turn, I had to remove my glasses and someone held my hand as we walked into the room. From my 700-power of vision, I saw a massive white machine and then, I was asked to lie down (looked like an MRI machine that we see in movies) - then before Doctor Chuah does anything, he would say them. 

After what seems like 20-seconds, the machine then moves me in another direction and the top machine would move down on me (I think) and closes up to my right eye. The machine will then say, "Suction on!" and I just had to look at the green dot in that machine. 

Within 26-seconds, the machine said, "Suction off!" and it was done deal. 

Doctor Chuah then did something on my left eye and the same thing goes. 26-seconds later, my left eye also done deal. It was so fast I could not believe it. 

The most shocking thing about this entire experience is I felt no pain at all. ZERO PAIN. ZERO DISCOMFORT. It was that easy and that comfortable. Don't know I scared for what also earlier. 

It is nothing like what you watched in Final Destination movie la okay. I know what you were thinking! Hah. Cos my husband was terrified for me - he kept referencing the movie. 

My vision was somewhat very blurred still but I could make up of things around me. I went into the changing room to change back into my clothes and went out. 

I thought I was going to have a problem recognizing Adrian at the common waiting area but surprisingly I could see but it was a blur. 

We left the place, bought lunch and I slept in the entire afternoon. 

We went back to Optimax TTDI for a post-LASIK surgery check-up and that was it. 

The other post-surgery check-ups were all done in Optimax Penang at no extra costs. 

Ohh - Optimax also offered a lifelong warranty if your power comes back. I guess if the thickness of your cornea is still able to go through a LASIK procedure, then it would be okay but if not, then I don't know what's next. Haha. 

So far, I went for 3 check-ups already and did not pay for any of them. So far so good. 

It has been a month and my vision now is restored from 700 to 25 in each eye. My vision so clear I love it, and not having to rely on glasses/contact lenses anymore - so best, please. 

So, how much does it really costs to get your vision corrected with the ReLex SMILE LASIK procedure?

I (Adrian) paid a total of RM12,976. The original price was RM13,176 (RM6,588 per eye) but got an RM200 discount because of the "referral". 

Adrian offered to pay the whole thing as my in-advance-birthday gift so that was a surprise - a very very nice surprise. Heh. Thank you, baby boy. 

A lot of you reached out to me after knowing about my LASIK experience and I realized that MANY of you had wanted to do it also but never got enough courage to do it, and/or unsure if it is worth spending that money. 

I am here to tell you that if you have been dependent on visual aid (like glasses or contact lenses) for a very long time and it' pain in the behind, it will be worth every penny you spend on. We are talking about many many years of not depending on visual aids. Longer years if you take care of your eyes and provide your eyes with the vitamins it needs. 

Ever since my eye examination with Optimax, I am suddenly awaken to the fact that if we do not take care of our eyes now, it will be too late when we realized we had to and there will nothing we can do anymore when it is too late. 

I don't know about you, but vision is one of the most important thing to me. 

So, I started taking Astaxanthin and trying Isotonix Vizion Powder. If you spend most of your working time looking at a screen, you should start taking supplements that takes care of your eyes - seriously. 

Adrian looks at the screen (laptop and phone) most of his waking time so I'm making him take these vitamins too. For him, this is more important that taking Calcium. Heh. 

So yes, if you are hesitant about going for LASIK or not, I 100% feel that you should - but that's just me - but again, it is life-changing. 

Oh, and before you go - here's the video of my entire LASIK experience. I filmed as much as I can. Enjoy! 

Till next time, bye now. 

The Secret to Losing Belly Fats in 30 Days!

 Is there really a secret?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Okaylah - share with you the secret to lose weight that works! 

Got my "transformation photo" below so keep on reading okay. 

It's not new news that I have always wanted to lose weight - more accurately my belly fats. I only really wanted to lose them after giving birth to two humans because I feel like I'm still pregnant (from the looks of it). My belly is still pretty bulged out (in my opinion) - still too big for my own liking. 

I don't feel attractive just yet so that means work is in progress. 

I have tried many kinds of ways to lose the belly fats but nothing worked. 

Nothing worked because I did not have a program or timeline to stick to and of course, motivation was not there. It was not strong enough for me to follow through. 

I bet you want to know what the secret is right? 

Disclaimer - this not-so-secret-secret is not to just lose belly fats la, please. It's losing weight overall and having a healthier lifestyle. I remembered feeling so stressed out wanting to lose weight (belly fats) because I had to like fast for many hours, replaced meals, and forced myself into doing extreme workouts oh my gosh. 

Getting in shape should be straight-forward and achievable - and affordable! 

When TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program came to Malaysia (end of 2020), I was super excited because I read as much as I can on it and decided that it was not too expensive to start - as compared to other weight-loss programs out there that costs at least few thousands. 

Many years ago, my dad joined a weight management program from a brand and he paid about RM5,000+ (3-months program) - he did lose the weight but I was not going to pay so much when I can pay less than RM1,000 to do just the same! 

There are also some testimonials from friends who have lost an incredible amount of weight - I mean like their 'before' and 'after' transformation is really impressive but when I asked more on how they do it - many of them mentioned 'meal-replacement' and Adrian is the biggest anti-meal-replacement programs. 

Surely they will lose weight fast because they are replacing real meals with protein shakes and all. And once they stop with the 'replace-meal programs, they will gain all their weight back. True enough - I have seen such situations to know how to avoid it. 

I was thankful to know that TLS 30-Day Jump Start Kit does not (at all) encourage meals-replacement and the kit even includes health supplements that help with the overall being. I of course especially love Isotonix OPC-3 (and Vitamin B Complex) because it helps me with energy-boosting for an entire day. 

It's a life-changer. 

The other product that I love (from the TLS 30-Day Jump Start Kit) is Nutriclean Fibre with L-Glutamine & Probiotics - because it helps with my bowel movement (highly recommended for those with constipation problems!) and it also has probiotics so it helps support the bacterial balance in my colon - and it's so yummy! 

I take them every morning - except weekends. Hah. 

Another thing I like about this program is there is a timeline for the entire 30-days. There is a guideline that we must (or encouraged) to follow. 

I did and now that I am done with the TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program, I have in my mind what I should be eating or doing or like the "right" routine to maintaining a healthier lifestyle. 

I am already eating all kinds of food and making sure I sweat at least 3 times a week - because now it is not just about losing weights as in the kilograms but to tone the body and also like I said earlier - making a healthier lifestyle as part of living life every day. Heh. 

I am not pushing really hard to lose all the belly fats because what if I get pregnant soon? Nobody knows right? Hah. 

So yeah, In 30-days, I managed to lose 2.6KG and my waist circumference decreased by 10cm! Sneak peek - real photos are below but read first la okay?

When I joined this program, Adrian was quite skeptical - he felt that it was not going to work for me because I not that disciplined and all - but really, the program worked because a bunch of us joined and did it together! 

When I showed him my before and after photos, his jaw dropped. Hah. It's not like the biggest transformation (hello 30 days only okay) but there were changes to my body that felt so good. 

I had to use belts whenever I wear my shorts now. It's so inconvenient but I love it. 

I wear a lot of leggings now because I lazy use belts to wear shorts. And to tell you the truth, wearing leggings make me see my body even more and 'motivates' me to sweat it out. So that helps too. 

Adrian also joined the TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program (unofficially because he shy-shy) but he lagi not disciplined compared to me. Heh. 

I am still taking the Isotonix Daily Essentials Kit and Nutriclean every morning and following the meal plans that I learned from that 30-days. I also have a bottle of TLS Nutrition Shake at home for when I want to snack but don't want anything that is not healthy. I usually blend with bananas. 

Okay now, time to reveal my transformation photos. 

Here goes. 

Now I a bit shy pulak. 

But I want to document it here so I can look back and be wow-ed again. 

Left photo - BEFORE TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program
Right photo - AFTER TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program

As you can see, the most obvious weight-loss was the belly area - was exactly what I wanted so I was very happy and satisfied to see the changes. 

If you see it clearly, from the front view - the "belly-pouch" is a lot flatter and not as "out"! Hah. 

From the side view, my belly does not look as pregnant already hah. Don't mind my ugly vertical scar please - it's from that time when I had perforated appendicitis and the doctor was not very good at stitching up. Heh. 

I love how it looks now and I totally agree with you (if you think the same) that there are still more rooms for improvement and a flatter belly but hey, one step at a time. 

The blue shorts (in photo) is so loose now it's ridiculous, and no I am not going to shop for new clothes la siau meh. My money trees not fully bloomed yet. Heh. 

People have been telling me that they realized that I have lost weight and looked slimmer and really, it felt so good. 

So yeah - this program works and if you did not know, Andrew's transformation was way more impressive when he did this program the first time. 

Nah - his photo below. 

Please hold on to your jaw, please. Now Andrew is back to eating his favorite kind of food and is still not gaining his bye-bye weight. 

He is going to start another batch soon on this TLS 30-Day Jump Start Program so if you are interested, let us know! 

Time to get in shape to fit into our Chinese New Year clothes! Hah. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Goodbye 2020.

Last day of the Year 2020 - the year no one is actually celebrating 100% because of the pandemic and lockdowns and the fear that looms in the air because Covid-19 is so spreadable. Hah. 

Never thought that I would experience a legit country/city lockdown in my life because of a virus. I remembered feeling anxious when it first happened but after that, it sort of became the new norm and we went to flow with it. 

Now, we are pro in the new norm although, to be honest, I still hate every part of it. Having to split tables when we go out to dine sucks big time - like I super hate it la okay. 

Anyway, since it is the last day of the craziest year, I thought I would like just say something here - but now my mind is quite blank. Heh. 

One thing that I am sure about is I want to bid farewell to the Year 2020 with the biggest gratefulness I have in me. It was not pretty and it was all messy and sad and scary - but I want to be thankful for everything that has happened. 

I feel like emotions were everywhere and I struggled on the second part of the year trying to figure out our moving forward plans and while I actually did resign from my job, I was given an offer to stay but with a more flexible role (with major salary adjustment of course) so I can actually focus on my two kids. 

I realized that if I don't give up my job to spend this precious time with them, I will regret it when they grow up. I can always go back to work once they are all grown up but I can never have them at this age anymore. So, I choose them - always will. 

Also thankful that Adrian is supportive of this decision because, without him, I would never be able to do it. I mean hello - he must be able to support me mentally and financially what. Hah. If not, where am I gonna find the money to feed myself heh. 

But on a serious note, this new flexible role also gives me time and space to focus on my Shop.com business and I am loving it. I realized that I love selling things - that work of course. 

We recently launched and started selling Momzay's Chocolate Chip Khoo-Kies and we managed to sell a total of 156 bottles - mom was surely busy and happy. So, thank you all for supporting our Khoo-Kies! More to come next time! 

We are currently working on our next item (hint: they are not Khoo-Kies!) heh - so stay tuned! 

Anyway, I am still in a place where I am trying to find the right "schedule" that works for me and my kids - in terms of our 8AM-6PM daily routine. I still have to go to the office twice a week for half-day and I have been trying to add "gym-time" too because I have lost weight with TLS 30-Days Program and I want to maintain a lifestyle that works in long term for myself. 

I will be posting on the before and after soon - after completing the 30 Days TLS Program and I'm so happy to say that I didn't think I would see the result but photos never lie okay. 

I hope by mid-January, I will sort of get everything in place and get a hang of the new schedule and stuff. 

So, I guess this is it for twenty-twenty. 

See you in 2021. 

What Kind of Couples Are We?

Adrian and I became an official couple on 20 January 2012, got engaged on 20 September 2015, and then finally sealing the deal on 20 September 2016. 

I just realized (as I typed all this) that 20 is such a special number for us. So ngam eh hah. 

It is not love at first sight but it is definitely love blossoming from best friend-ship. So all you out there, who is secretly in love with your best friend (and denying it) - let us just tell you that because you both know each other so well already, it is such a fun and amazing thing to be together because you guys already are best friends! 

Anyways, here are the FAQs that we have gathered from you guys so enjoy reading them because we (mostly me) had fun answering them. 

WHO PIKAT WHO?

This is one very famous question, please. It just seems like everyone who asked this question (respectively) to Adrian and me always get different answers. 

The truth will set you free so here is the truth. 

Adrian pikat Sarah first. 

There you go. 

It's really the truth. He started to realize that he has feelings for me but I think he tried to deny them because we were like best buddies, sort of. I mean - I was helping (assisting) him to chase girls okay. But I guess he could not deny them for long hah because I am very irresistible. Hah. 

HOW LONG DID YOU BOTH DATED BEFORE HE PROPOSED?

I think about 3-years. Our anniversary date was 20 January 2012 - he asked me to be his girlfriend right after our last exam paper. We were on our way to watch a movie with our collegemates. Not very romantic kan? Heh. 

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT HE WAS THE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO MARRY?

Well, in the middle of our dating-years, we talked about moving forward and about the future - like where do we see ourselves in a few years and all. One thing that really attracted me to him is the fact that he is such a family man, and when I know that his intention is to have a family together in the future, it all just became clearer. 

I remember asking him if I am just another girl that he dates because if that was the case, then we definitely need to talk more in terms of if he sees himself marrying me. If not, then the best option is for both of us to move on with our respective lives and find 'the one'. 

I wanted to know because I was not going to waste any more time with a man who does not have the intention to marry me. I mean - age is catching up okay. Heh. Sure I am in love with him, but if he really cannot see himself marrying me, then what is the point right. 

I am of course thankful that he wants to marry me. Heh. 

As for him, someone once asked him this question and his answer to the person was:- "Because I cannot imagine myself living without her."

Sweet sial. 

DO YOU REMEMBER THE VERY FIRST TIME YOU MET EACH OTHER?

Yes - it was at a Floorball tournament at Dalat International School. It was my first time there and my first time watching the game live. I was there on duty as a secretariat because our club needed volunteers and I volunteered. 

He was also on duty for the secretariat and was in charge of time-keeping. I was in charge of keeping score. I remembered poking his shoulder to either ask for the time or to ask him to stop the timer and that was that. 

We only got to know each other's names during the post-game talk where we introduced ourselves. 

YOU BOTH STUDIES THE SAME THING IN COLLEGE?

Yes, we did - Business & Finance but we were not from the same batch. I enrolled first and he joined one semester later. We have had a few classes together because the lecturers combined them. So, I guess can say we were course-mates at one point. Hah. 

WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIAL CALLINGS TO EACH OTHER?

Promise you won't laugh. 

Honey - Because his last names are Hun Yi. 

Honey Bu-Bu - No idea why but it felt very satisfying to add the bu-bu behind. 

Babe.

Baby.

Noob.

Weirdo.

WHO IS THE MORE PATIENT ONE?

This one must go into detail a bit because generally, Adrian seems to be the one with more patience but in reality, I am quite patient myself (especially after the kids came). 

Adrian is very impatient when it comes to food - now you know where Sofia gets her impatience from). It's like Adrian cannot get hungry at all, if not he would be so anxious and he will lose his cool. If we go for meals with friends or family, and people are late and he has to wait longer to eat, then cannot liau. He cannot wait when it comes to food. 

This explains why our food-blog is dead now because when the food reaches our table, he will not wait for me to take photos all. Lagi no need to say since we have children to handle hence, a dead food-blog. Heh. 

I am impatient when it comes to.. nothing really! I am quite a patient person now - I am a changed person. Hah. 

WHO PAYS FOR MEALS WHEN YOU GO OUT TOGETHER?

Before marriage - we split the bills, always. 

After marriage - Adrian because he is such a gentleman and because he earns more money than me. 

HOW DO YOU BOTH ARGUE?

Interesting question this one. 

Not sure if you can tell by knowing us personally (or through social media) but I am the silent one and he is the one who needs to bleh everything out there and then. 

I prefer to let the situation cools down first before 'discussing'. Not for him and it drives him even more upset because he just need to say whatever he wants to say - oftentimes, he has to apologize for the things he say in the heat of the moment because they may be hurtful and meaningless. 

But we are good. We don't argue that much anymore. Even when we do, he also will cool down first and talk later. 

We used to shout at each other to finish off an argument, and I remembered there was once when Jack was in the car, and he was legit scared of the entire moment when we were going back at each other. 

Good times. Heh. 

ARE YOU PLANNING TO RENOVATE YOUR CURRENT HOUSE?

It is in our discussion but we are still not really sure - because renovation is costly and we also need to find a place to stay for a few weeks. So we just sitting on this topic for now.

WHO WEARS THE PANTS?

What kind of question is this?

Of course, Adrian wears the pants - but I decide what kind of pants he wears. 

I AM KIDDING. 

He is the head of the family and what he says - goes. But really, usually, we will be in agreement in most of our decision-making. If cannot agree, then discuss till agree. 

IS ADRIAN REALLY YOUNGER THAN YOU?

Yes - by two years.

But he looks older so I win. 

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE IN TERMS OF FAMILY'S CULTURES?

I don't know if this is the biggest one but it is on top of my head right now. 

The way our families communicate is so different. As for my family, we are quite loud and noisy (and crazy) and dramatic (Adrian used to comment that my family is like Keeping Up with the Kardashians so he labeled us Keeping Up with the Khoos). 

For his side of the family, they are relatively softer in terms of sound and noise level and not as dramatic. They are however very funny (his relatives) and very generous with dirty jokes. Hah. 

Also, fun fact - Adrian and his sisters were not allowed to say the word, "Syiok" growing up because for them, it is a very harsh word. Not for my family of course. The only words not allowed in my family are those cuss words. 

ARE YOU BOTH PLANNING TO BUY A HOUSE?

To be honest, I am very open to the idea of buying a house that I can co-design and decorate and do according to how I want it. We are not there yet I guess but one day we will definitely buy a house where we will live for the long term. 

Adrian has been living in this current place for all his life and I can totally understand that it is so hard to leave this place and move to another house so really, this is a project nobody knows when is the maturity date. Hah. When will he be really ready to move to a new place? 

There is a difference between - "I live with my in-laws" & "My in-laws live with us"

Even when the house is legally ours, the statement will still be, "I live with my in-laws" because the fact is that that house is (and will always be) Adrian's family house. 

But yeah, we know that sometime in the future, we will get a new place of our own where I can freely design heh. 

We like high-rise buildings with great views, indoor car parks, and to have facilities, that will be great but Adrian is not a big fan of high maintenance fees, so I guess facilities are not super important. So we shall see. Heh. 

I would prefer a brand new house (scared old house haunted and all heh) but very open to any good deals la. Hit us up if you know of any house for sale and all okay. 

IS ADRIAN OPEN TO HAVING MORE THAN 4 CHILDREN?

If I am being very honest, I think no. I think his maximum is four (sadly). 

But we will never know. I can only answer you when we get there. 

WHO IS MORE PICKY IN FOOD?

Definitely me. 

Extra taugeh and extra chilli in all my noodles' order, and no 'ti-chiau' (sweet sauce) in my Genting's chee cheong fan. 

WILL YOU GO BACK TO PLAYING FLOORBALL?

You know what - I have thought about this so often and I know for sure that I would love to go back to playing this sport because I remembered having so much fun. Maybe not now though. 

I do see myself (and Adrian) going for floorball practices with all our children and all of us owning our own floorball stick. That is a future that I do see heh. 

WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT ADRIAN HAS TAUGHT YOU?

Floorball. He used to teach me how to shoot goals, please.

Okay - but really the answer to this question is the act of giving. 

I have never seen someone who is so kind and thoughtful - and I am not talking about being all that to people that you love because that would be easy. 

But the fact that he is kind and giving to people that he does not know or people who have ill-treated him... You know what I mean?

I only realized this part of him after being married to him because then I am with him most of the time. 

For example - every time we go to the Green House Kopitiam, he will only order either wan tan mee or chicken rice although most of the time, he actually wants to eat curry mee or tailok mee. 

The reason being that he thinks that the uncle and aunty of the wan tan mee and chicken rice stall need business more than the other stalls who are doing well. So, he forgoes what he wants to eat just so he can help the elderly couple. ALL THE TIME. 

Really very thoughtful. And from there, I learned to be like him in that sense. 

DO YOU BOTH HAVE CURFEW IF YOU GO OUT WITHOUT EACH OTHER?

We don't put like a curfew for each other when one goes out with friends but we always say things like, "Don't come home too late okay". 

For me, the moment Adrian leaves the house to hang out with his friends or meet clients, I will get into prayer mode and occasionally stops what I do and pray that he comes home safely. 

I mean - this "worry" is legit because anything can happen to anyone at any time - so all I can do is pray. I obviously cannot stop him from going out when he wants to. 

We still prefer for people to come to hang out at our house cos then can hang till late. Heh. Can do sleepovers also no problem. 

WHO GETS ANGRY FASTER?

Well, depends! 

He has a higher temper compared to me for sure. 

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS PEOPLE HAVE ON YOU TWO?

The first one will definitely be in terms of spending money via online shopping. People always think that I spend more money on online shopping but the reality is that Adrian spends more money (and time) doing online shopping! He may deny it if you ask him but it's the truth!

Also, I feel that people think I am a messier person as compared to Adrian but please, I am more OCD than him - I got it from my dad for sure. 

WHO SAID THE FIRST 'I LOVE YOU'?

Adrian Koay. 

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FOOD BLOG?

Err - kids happened. Hah. 

We just didn't have the time (and patience) to manage it anymore because our hands are really full at this moment and although I really love blogging, I simply cannot handle managing so many blogs la. 

I got a Youtube channel that I just started some more. Heh. Go subscribe, please. Thank you. 

IS THERE A MOMENT IN YOUR MARRIAGE THAT YOU FEAR ADRIAN IS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU?

Of course yes - twice only though. 

The first 6-months after giving birth to Alex and Sofia were the moments I felt so unattractive and had that 'fear' that Adrian may not be as attracted to me (physically) but he never says or does anything to make me feel like that. 

I think it is just how I cope with my physical body and how it changes after birth and obviously, I struggled with it but with Adrian still being so in love with me (perasan right?), I was able to come out of it. Also, believe it or not, I prayed a lot! 

WILL YOU BOTH EVER ADOPT/GET A PET?

I've always wanted to have a puppy (Yorkshire Terrier) but Adrian is super against that idea. 

So, we just never sort of bringing it up again - unless I see another super heartwarming video on Facebook, and then I will ask him again. His answer is always no. 

But if anyone has like extra puppies to give away, my home (and heart) is always open okay! I would love to have a pet in my lifetime. I feel I will be super loving wan okay. 

But if the dog can grow big then not a good idea because our house no space for the dog to run around. I would love a very small puppy. 

WHO IS THE ONE ALWAYS SUGGEST TO GO HOLIDAY/STAYCATION?

Really need to ask this question?

Most of the time - me. 

But there are times where Adrian would get random and suggest a quick holiday/staycation and I will jump on that train immediately! Like every chance I get. 

IF YOU EARN MORE THAN HIM,  WILL HE EVER CONSIDER BEING STAY-HOME DAD?

I think yes. 

Or maybe no. 

You have to ask him. 

DO THE BOTH OF YOU GET ANNOYED WITH EACH OTHER?

Yes - rarely though - but yes. 

So, I guess that is it for the questions and answers. 

It has been such a road trip with this man ever since we decided to get tangled with each other and in our every day's mundane life, we somehow can find the little joyful things with each other and I especially love it when we both get to have real couple conversations after the kids sleep and just talk about everything that revolves our lives. 

Sometimes, we share real-life drama with each other la - gossip session with my husband. Hah. 

This year is our fourth and really, when you enjoy doing life with a person, time just passes you by so quickly. We are beyond thankful everyday that we've got each other to lean on and we never take that for granted. 

Moist Chocolate Zucchini Muffin.

We are baking - again! 

I know I have failed baking many times but you know what people always say - "Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of success"

So, here we are. Heh. 

I do not wish to be a baker but ever since I started working from home and being able to be a stay at home mom at the same time, I find cooking and baking very therapeutic. Also very chun that I started my 30-Day TLS Weight Management Solutions Program so I need to eat healthier for 30-days - which means I need to cook most of the time for my own meals. 

This is really when I realized that cooking (and baking) is so fun and I love that I now get to do it at my mom's new kitchen hah - shall wait for our kitchen to be renovated then you will see more videos and photos of the cooking sessions. Heh. 

Anyway, this time we filmed the baking with Sha Lynn (and occasionally Daryl hah), and please, we did not rehearse anything so it was all impromptu. 

Hence, the many baking "oopsie".

You have been warned. 

There were like a few steps that we sort of missed/got confused with but surprisingly, the muffins turned out great! I cannot believe how yummy those muffins were! 

My dad really loved it because even though we put a cup of sugar in, it was not sweet at all! It was just the perfect kind of chocolate cake! 

So, here goes the recipe - and the video below if you feel like you want to watch us bake. 

Also - I have read the recipes and steps many times but still we did it wrongly! Hah. I guess those "wrong" steps did not matter as much. BECAUSE IT WAS FINGER LICKING GOOD!

MOIST CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI MUFFIN

Dry Ingredients Bowl:-

• 1 and 1/4 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/3 teaspoon salt
• (Optional - 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon)
• (Optional - 1/2 teaspoon ground coffee)

Wet Ingredients Bowl:-

• 1 egg (or 1/4 cup of mashed banana)
• 1/3 cup oil (olive oil or vegetable oil)
• 1 cup sugar (1/2 cup white sugar and 1/2 cup brown sugar)
• 1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons coconut cream (or 1/2 cup buttermilk)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Add Ons:-

• I cup of grated zucchini (medium-sized)
• (Optional - 1/3 cup of chocolate chips)

Steps to making the best Moist Chocolate Zucchini Muffin:-

1. Grate zucchini and set aside - remove water with paper towels or drain it with a sift. 
2. If you making your own buttermilk, now is the time to add the 2 teaspoons of white vinegar or lemon juice into it and set aside. 
3. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celcius.
4. Combine all the Dry Ingredients Bowl together. Remember to sift everything. We did not sift because we didn't have a sift, so we skipped this step. But please, sift all the dry ingredients. 
5. In a bigger bowl, combine all the Wet Ingredients Bowl and mix them till it is well combined. Recommended using a hand beater okay. 
6. Then, pour all the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients bowl and using a spatula, stir until everything is well mixed together. 
7. Put in the grated zucchini and optional chocolate chips and continue to stir till well combined. 
8. Prepare your cup liners on the baking tray and scoop the batter into them. 
9. Bake for about 25-30 minutes. (in my video I mentioned 18-20 minutes but turned out we actually put in for a total of 28 minutes). 
10. Test with a toothpick to check if it's cook. If the toothpick comes out clean, then it's 100% done. 
11. If you like your muffins to be a bit like a lava cake, then any time before 18 minutes should be good. 

So, there it is. The recipe to make the best moist chocolate zucchini muffin. Sha Lynn was so doubtful that it will be nice because we put an entire zucchini into the batter but she loved it so much, she immediately went to pack 4 muffins to bring home to her parents. So cute. 

Alex had 2 muffins and I had 2 muffins and then, no more muffins on the table. We will be making more because seems like the entire household loved it too much. Sadly, Adrian did not get to enjoy it because we ate it all. Hah. 

Till next time, bye now.