02 April 2016

Wedding Update 8.

I actually don't really know how to start this post.

It's not really a wedding update but it is related to that so can lah. 

I have been wanting to express myself fully here since yesterday but I was way too tired after getting home from life-group. I thought that I would have forgotten about it when I woke up this morning, but no, so here I am.

Okay, I'm going to try my best to word it out. 

There has been undeniably a lot of disagreements between the huz-to-be and myself when it comes to anything related to the wedding that's happening in 5 months' time. 

It did not come as a shocking thing as we sort of expected it, seeing that we are both very different kind of people, with quite a handful of different taste in things. 

What is really nice to him, is super ugly to me in some cases. So, we argue our way through. That is the natural way right?

People argue because they don't see eye to eye in things or situations. 

This is where most people would 'agree to disagee' which we do but really rarely. We often want to talk till something is settled, but if not then we leave it at that and it would somehow surface again. 

Wow, I think this is probably one of the most honest post that I will ever do on us. 

Anyways, it has been a struggle for me to go through this. If I'm correct, we've never argued so much since we got together 4 years ago and I cannot say that it has affected my feelings towards him, because I love Adrian no matter what. But it has certainly affected on how I see through the planning for our big day. 

The one question that people always ask me is this: How's the wedding prep?

Often times, my reaction is a mixture of excited and clueless (if I may be super honest). Clueless because it's just so difficult to get things sorted when we both have such different preferences and please don't get me wrong. We will always manage to meet halfway and agree on one thing we both are okay with but all that will only be achieved usually after a lot of arguments and heartaches. 

Sad but true. 

Being at Joe Sern and Jaryn's ROM yesterday opened my eyes a whole lot. I realized the one thing that I have failed to see for so many months. 

The man that I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. 

The man who I will go through hard times and good times with. 

The man who will be my children's daddy. 

The man I truly love with my entire life.

 The man who is still at a mourning stage for losing the most important man in his life, his father. He misses his dad everyday of his life, and it is with no doubt that on our wedding day, he will miss him hundred times as much and makes it more difficult for him to go through it.

So, all the details does not matter as much to me anymore. 

We have been arguing over the little-est things because we want to make this wedding the best one yet on our own expectations #bridezillaalert and along the little arguments, we forget the whole reason to having this wedding. 

It made me realized that there is absolutely no point in arguing over petty things for an event that will only last for a day. Yes, it is our once in a lifetime, but so is this whole planning for own wedding. 

Sometimes it is not the final destination that matters most, but the journey to the destination and this is exactly what I want to focus on from now onwards. 

I do think that he will have harder time doing this without his dad on that day and I am not going to be that horrible partner to not remember that. 

To be honest, I have always felt that I am giving a bigger sacrifice because I am the one who is going to leave my home and everything that I am comfortable with to go to a new home and start again with new habits and stuff. 

So selfish of me to think like that seriously. Good thing I woke up today feeling so different and well. 

With all that being said, I can say that there will definitely be a drop in our arguments since I am usually the one who is more stubborn right. Hah. 

Here's to five more months of fun times, Muthu. I love you and that will be till our-forever.