What Love Really Means.



He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He's the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please...

Could you send someone here who will love me?"

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She's the woman whose husband has run away

She'll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner then he would've stayed

And she says...

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He's waiting to die as he sits all alone

He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said

"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

I was driving along the highway back to the island via Penang Bridge and this song played. Tears rolled down my cheeks without me even realizing it. It was one of God's greatest-chun-nest reminder. Everyone needs that once in a while, if not everyday :)

So, here's a reminder (play the song and follow the lyrics if you may) to those who reads this and my prayer is that you know you are loved because of who you are, and not for what you have done or what you will become.

The ultimate LOVE that never fails, Jesus.

One Year Five Days.

Speak of CRAZY and FAST.

I can never be able to grasp how long short it has been since I started this Work Chapter. The flashback photos of when I sat at this desk and slowly starting to fill the things on the table are still very fresh and unreal.

I am tied to a two-year contract and I'm halfway there. No matter how long I have been working, it's still difficult to let it sink that this is what LIFE is gonna be (partly) since a year ago. No more college-party-watch movie anytime anymore. It's all gonna be work and earn money, whether working for other people or doing own business.

I am thankful for the experience I've gained over this one year. It's been fun and exciting. At the same time, I'm really thankful that I've been given the chance to join in so many projects and travel fairs.

Not to also mention, the FREE All-Inclusive-Holiday that I was given. Club Med Cherating is one of the most amazing holidays I've ever been to. The food, the people, the deluxe room, the activities, the place. All are very good. And we even got to join them celebrating some event (I can't remember whether it was for Christmas or New Year's Eve or something) and watched fireworks from like the VIP place, sort of. Open-air party in the garden just beside the beach. AMAZING!

Will I go back to Club Med Cherating again? No. Because I want to go the other Club Meds in the world. Gotta try new things right? Oh yeah, Club Med Cherating is the FIRST Club Med property built in the whole of South-East Asia. Cool heh?

Club med Phuket is my next target, I think. Fingers all crossed and prayers prayed. Hopefully, the next time I go, it would be with a bunch of good friends and family :) Ahhh, all the fruit juices and finger-licking food to be indulged in. Oooh. Hopes are high, so what? Keep hoping la :)

Entering into my second year makes me more confident people in the things I do. Definitely enjoy meeting people, in large or small companies. Okla, don't really want to go so much in details on things like that. There are obviously bumps on the way and how I hated starting work on Mondays. That sucks, just for anybody. So, it's like everyone's-problem-on-Mondays. CONFIRM!

Good news for everyone. It's finally Wednesday! Two more days to weekends! Weird, but somehow I'm not looking forward to this week's weekend. Hmmmph.

GO CORPORATE PRAYER TONIGHT YOU GUYS AT FGA CENTRE, 8:30pm! :)

See you all there :)

Campur Semua.

The second day of the week and I feel bleh. 

Not because I have to work, but the fact that last night when I went home after work, the first thing I did was go towards Sha Lynn, whom at that time was crying stones and rocks. Like so loudly and she won't even stop. We even thought at one point that maybe she was feeling unwell in her tummy or stuff. Manatau, she went back home and she started chatting with her daddy. So yeah. The conclusion is that she suddenly doesn't recognize any of the Khoos. IT WAS SUCH A SAD NIGHT :(

This morning, I went over to see her but couldn't really spend time with her because she was still three-quarter half asleep. I said three-quarter because when I was there, her eyes were moving and her eyelids opened once in a while to check me out). 

Then, over lunch today, I went back home and she's back to all smiles when I play with her :) Hooray! Mom even said next time cannot bring her to go vacation for too long already. Haha. 

Okay next. Bangla is going on a cruise holiday with his family in four days time. He's gonna fly to Merlion City with his lookalike-sister and then cruises back here to Penang (where his parents will then join in) then to Phuket. Superstar Virgo okayy! That's like the business class of MAS in the cruise world. Everything is top-notch. His family is just blessed with family friends who cruise all year long and they get to tag along and no need to pay for anything! SUPER BLESSED! :) 

Such fun times he's gonna have on board. And during his trip, there will be no line whatsoever. So, it's total freedom/torture for the whole week next week. Actually, not so bad la. 

Oh oh speaking of line and communication! There were so many times when I actually forgot where my phone was and when somebody I know took it and kept fo me, I actually felt sad. HAHA. I ACTUALLY WANT MY HANDPHONE TO BE LOST AND NEVER FOUND! Yeah, so that I have a valid reason to get my Q10. Super downz la. 

The time will come when I can finally hold my baby in the palm of my hands :) One day..

I will eat my Kit Kat now and re-stock them tonight.

Exercise Feel.

Just one of the RANDOM and totally UNEXPECTED days when I suddenly WANT to run as much as I can or do anything that sweats pig.

That kind of day doesn't come very often.

And yes, I did run a few rounds today, because according to my tweets, I wanted to do so to "make" me forget about how I want Q10 so badly. Now, it's coming back.. Okayy..

I think Justin or someone else told me about teacup piglet when we were playing captain ball. So I googled it. Super cute but still, char siew is too yummy to not eat them anymore. Heh. 

Quick Write.

Finally, I could have some me-time to sit down and do nothing watch tv and blog a little, since the father is futsal-ing with the bangla and his buddies.

The past two days have been busy and packed with fun stuff/outings. Two nights in a row slept at 2-3am! No wonder pimples all are here to visit :)

Not to mention how much I miss the sister and her baby. Gahh. Separation like this is torturing. Two more days and I'm gonna just stay home and play with baby girl.

All wrapped up like a little cute thing! Ishhh. *cubits*

Also, I have been to most, if not all the shopping malls in Penang because Koay wants to get a pair of shades for the upcoming cruise to Singapore and Phuket. 

And he still haven't bought them yet. 


Raya holiday means a lot of makan sessions. We went to a friend's place on Friday, but even in my own house, there's always that holiday mood. Mom's yummy chocolate cake covered with melted-peanut-butter-choc-cream. I don't know what that is really called la. But it's sweet and thumbs up :)

And we have been eating so much lately I have no idea why. So stressful okay. Not only the tummy, but every other area is expanding also. A lot of things doesn't fit anymore. This is really sad. Time to REALLY do something. REALLY!

 Oh, and tonight we got another makan-makan celebration for his mom's early birthday! Eat again. What's new right?

OH AND THE BOY TOOK ME TO SAWARA LAST NIGHT. TOO HAPPY!
I was sleeping in my room while he left for football, only to find him home after 5 minutes he left my house and talking to my mom outside my room. My door not closed so I can hear them. I didn't bother la. I sleeping so nicely, conquering the whole center part of my bed d whatt. He came in, and lied down at the small side next to me and..

He: Babe..
Me: *mumbles* Hmm..
He: Later we go eat that one la okay?
Me: *no answer* *cos I was waiting for him to say where*
He: Hello? Attitude lo you. People talking to you.
Me: *very softly* You never finish your sentence also.. *I was very sleepy that time*
He: I said LET'S EAT AT SAWARA! 
Me: *straights jumps up and looked at him* SERIOUSLYY!? YAY!!!

Imagine I was so happy to be able to eat fish steamboat that I even agreed to go Paragon after that to continue searching for his shades, but ended up carrying Cotton On's shopping bag home and ALMOST got myself a nice comfy women's coat. CRAZYY. Then, I had four glasses of red wine with his buddies at Precinct 10 till 2am and supper at Jiao Sai. Long night but so good catching up with his friends after so long :)

Alright. Till next time.

Genesis 22.

It has been twenty days since I started writing the Bible.

That's about a chapter a day.

It has been fulfilling much for the soul.

Okay, I'm quite proud of myself. Some days I didn't have anytime to write because there's things to do and places to go. Certain days I can write up to three chapters.

You're probably like thinking that it's only three, but let me tell you this first book is quite long for most of the chapters. It's mad and fun.

Panaroma Week.

Monday blue so what?

Blogging always helps it become better.

So, this week I have been so obsessed with taking panaroma photos I have no idea why. Just some of the usual activities over the weekend every now and then. Sometimes, it feels like my weekends make me more tired than the usual working weekdays.

Oh wellz.

Living Room Party.

Because we won't be seeing little girl for the next one week.

Because we all want to sleep with her.

Because we are gonna miss her too much.

Because it's fun.

Sleepy Saturday.

Hardly got any sleep last night because the little girl was so grumpy. She even let out a really loud cry/shout in the middle of the night. Straight no need sleep this thai maid. Haha.

Woke up at 10-ish, went out for two hours and came back slept again till 30 minutes ago.

Today is World's International Sleepy Day, confirm!

Mutiple Personalities.

This video puts a smile on my face. Ohh, why are you so funny Ryan? I think I can humbly say that I'm one of those fan of yours. You are just way too funny. LOVE ALL YOUR VIDEOS!

Everyone, have a relaxing weekend. I know I'm gonna make sure this week is gonna be a relaxed one. Time to spend days with baby girl before she leaves to OZ.

Bag Organizer.

Having a big handbag is what I've always wanted. I'm the kind of girl that likes to just dump everything into the bag and off I go jalan-jalan. Things from purse, handphones to sweets, name cards and just other paper junk stuff.

And one thing I really hate is when I need to find my keys in the ocean of things! Goodness. Especially if it's at night and there's no light OR when Koay decided to dump his everything inside and then I have to find them. Lazy to do all that. Oh and when it gets heavy, it's even more crazy.

So, as I was online browsing through, I saw this bag-organizer thing and immediately I knew I have gotta get this and get my stuff organized. It finally arrived last night and boy, was I a happy lil girl.

This morning, I decided to re-arrange everything accordingly. So therapeutic la. Ladies, if you are stressed out, JUST THROW EVERYTHING THAT'S IN YOUR BAG AND RE-ORGANIZE IT! It will make you feel better. Like a feeling that you've achieved something. No kidding. Seriously! GO TRY IT NOW! Haha :)

So yeah, bought two colors so Rachel Khoo can use it also. Since now she have so many things to bring/carry whenever she's out. I think she's using a purple one. Not sure heh.

So for now, I'm loving this, a lot.  

SAM's Scan System.

Whole family decided to go Gurney Paragon to get some stuff at Harvey Norman. Lil baby came too. I actually thought I wanted to wait till Koay is free then can go together since we both never go before. This time also I didn't really get a good look at the whole place. Only went to few places and the food court. Very pretty food court indeed.

So, we were at the Lower Ground floor and walked into Sam's Groceria. Vanessa kept asking me to walk to the counter where they have these unique scanning thing. Rachel and I at first were like lost and confused, and didn't understand what she was trying to tell us also. Anyways, we walked over to this counter at the side, where you can see quite a lot of scanner thing on the wall and a man sitting beside it behind a desk. Approached him and he patiently explained it all to us.

So right, I wrote down my details etc and the moment he saw my details or to be more precise, my email address, he said this:

Him: Your email is sarah..?
Me: Oh, it's sarahkutu@.. *smiles*
Him: *looks at me* Oh! *burst out laughing* I whole day work here, no laughing. See you make me laugh. Very good.
Me: Oh that's good. Now you are happy boy! Hahaha.
Him: *nods and smiles even more*

Ahhh. That feeling when you make a stranger happy. Even better when you know that he hasn't been smilling the whole day. Probably because he puasa too hungry. Or not. Hmmm..

Okay. so back to this thing. It's basically a scanner that allows you to scan the barcode of your items as you shop along in the premises. This will enable you to keep track on how much you are spending and if you don't want the item after you scan, you just need to re-scan the barcode and it's cancelled from your electronic device. So coool heh. And using this, we can straight use the Express Lane to pay. With all these scanning of barcodes and stuff, the amount of money you spend will be converted into points which you can then trade it as cash vouchers in the future.

Signing up for the card is now free. Soon they will charge. So, I of course signed up. WHILE IT"S STILL FREE! Hahaha. And we immediately start scanning almost every item that we see! Okay, maybe that's a lil too dramatic.

My first item that I chose to scan was FROZEN BUFFALO MEAT! I didn't even know that it was buffalo meat until I actually scanned it. WHO EATS BUFFALO!??!?! That's like so sad okayy. Or not. Since pig is cuter and pork happens to be my favorite meat. Hah.

Then, we went around holding that scanner and scan other things and then un-scanned them again. Pretty fun.

When I was younger, I always wanted to work as the cashier in supermarkets because it's like so fun scanning barcodes and take people's money and all. I think I still kinda want to have this kind of experience lo. Working at Tesco for a day or something.

We didn't have the time to walk around and buy a lot of stuff because we needed to go Harvey Norman to get a vacuum cleaner. Boy, sales in the whole store. And the vacuum cleaner that we got is so powerful and convenient. Now my mom doesn't need to bend down and vacuum. My new favorite shop to buy electrical stuff is now Harvey Norman.

I shall spend a whole day one of these days to explore Gurney Paragon at my own pace. Padini got two storeys okayy! Madness! And must try Zanmai!

That's all for now :)

Floorball.

I have been playing floorball for almost 5 years now, I think.

It all started when we were having our monthly committee meeting at the Central Zone Hosting Room. Alex was asking around if anyone would help out in becoming one of the secretariats, and he looked at me. So, i said yes since I was kinda free in the afternoon on weekends (that time).

Then, I went to the Gateway City Church at E-Gate for my first secretariat meeting since I know nothing about floorball and things that's to do with it. So yeahh. Oh ya, that's the first time Koay noticed me (according to him) but I was just like any ordinary girl. Haha. Fair enough.

After that, I went to dalat and secretariat-ed my first floorball game. I think I was doing the timer thing. And as I was doing that, I watched the game and went to every game ever since, even when I wasn't on duty.

Of course there were many more interesting stories along the way, in the span of that five years.

After playing in the fireBRANDS team for few years, Gary decided to throw me away. Haha. Pushed me to join SWAT. SWAT is an all-girls team from both Frontliners and fireBRANDS girls. So yes. I was with SWAT (Sportswomen With An aTtitude) for the rest of the years.

We won the first All-Girls-League three years ago and then, we got second placing the year after that and this year, we got third. It has been such a journey with this team. A lot of nonsense that we go through together. It's been really fun.

And so, on Saturday when the whole Div 1 ended, I too ended this chapter: Floorball. It was just a matter of time that I will stop playing them. I don't know if its age catching up, but it's no surprise that somehow, the liking towards this sport has been dying. Kind of. Having to go for training on a weekend morning is also getting pretty burdensome, considering that saturdays are the only day that I get to sleep in.

But the last time that i'm going to play will be for the upcoming charity thing. After that, i would retire from floorball then? Retire? Hmmm.. Okay, too dramatic..

Anyways, CONGRATULATIONS on the winning of Division 1 Penang Floorball League, fireBRANDS! you make me so proud! So glad that I'm a part of fireBRANDS. I am honored to be able to walk down the memory lane and proudly said that I have played amongst the men before. All boys and only me one girl. Crazy because boys will always be like 100times faster and stronger. Me, I'm like the only one that slows them down. Special thanks to Lee Kah Yoon for always letting me try out new things.

It's been amazing :)

Oh yeah. Now fireBRANDS have an all-girls team too. And no, I did not quit SWAT to join them because I just cannot do that. No one should ever do that. Be faithful to your club and that's important. And boy, the girls team of fireBRANDS is strong. Though they didn't win this time, they were definitely stronger than what I expected. Good job ladies! 

And also this year, Koay played for fireBRANDS. And it was sweet to see him celebrating it with the whole bunch.

People have been asking me about Ztec. Koay's floorball team. I guess they are at the phase of something. I don't know. And yes, koay is still part of Ztec :)

That's all for this little story of floorball. And now, I don't even have to worry about training and getting too nervous when tournament is around the corner.

Signing off now.

Last Sunday of July.

Pretty packed.

seven am  Hit snooze three times. Took a quick shower. Made sure Kelly bathed. Went over next door to bring Shakulynn (shaKHOOlynn because calling her in three words is a lot easier and nicer!) over and bathed her as well. 

eight am Koay arrived and picked us up.

eight thirty am Bought a piece of bang chang koay and ordered two bowls of koay chiap, roti tisu, roti bom and nasi kandar.

nine fifteen am Rushed to Central Zone because both Mr and Mrs Sha were on duty and their Thai maid need to be on duty. Played with lil baby to make sure she doesn't fall asleep just before the worship starts.

ten am Held baby till she fell asleep.

twelve thirty pm Drove to Evergreen Hotel to fetch seven of Koay's family friends from Singapore.

one thirty pm Lunched at Koay's home. HOME COOKED FOOD IS ALWAYS AMAZING!

two thirty pm Durian party feast at the garden area.

four pm Rested the mind and body while the rest were outside bonding. Too tired, sorry.

five thirty pm Koay left to go for football tournament.

seven fifteen pm Koay came home after first half of the match. Left for dinner at Ben's. Aunty Mee Thiew cooks amazing food. and AGAIN HOME COOKED FOOD IS ALWAYS BEST! Ever!

nine thirty pm Left Ben's house to Logan Road. 

ten zero five pm Quietly stayed outside Sharon's house to light up the RM7 candles. Love the balloon candles. Haha. 

ten twenty pm Rang the door and SURPRISE SHAUN! His FIRST ever birthday surprise. And we needed to do it before twelve am because our big boy sleeps at ten thirty :) 

eleven pm Walked into my house, only to find both my parents pak-tor-ing with durians. AND MY ROOM DOOR WAS NOT CLOSED! :S

eleven fifteen pm Typing all of the above.

Packed Sunday is packed.

Excited for August to come already :)

A Great Friday.

So, today I woke up really early. Earlier than normal working days even. And I did not sleep until it was like about 3 in the noon. 

It was quite a nice slow and easy yet kinda productive day. Went for family lunch and some grocery shopping with grandma. Dinner was simple and easy paced before Young Adults at Hui Jen's. Then, supper at Koay Teow Basah, and ending the day with a quick post and an episode of Lost. 

Baby girl is already asleep on her own bed next to mine. She's been a good girl today when we were out and stuff. 

So yeah, loving the every moment of this public holiday. So gooood that I don't have to wake up so early on a Saturday for the first time after so long :)

Oh, and finally the Floorball League is coming to the end. FINALLY.

Goodnight!

Really Thanked God It's Friday Tomorrow.

Have I mentioned that I'm totally too way over the top happy and glad that it's holiday for my office tomorrow?

Have I also mentioned that the holiday is already planned and I'm so excited though it's a simple spending time with people who matters?

Have I?

HAVE I?

Two Years Anniversary.

Two years already.

It gets easier a little this year. It's not like we all have a choice not to get okay as time passes. I mean, all we can do is keep those memories close and never forgetting them even if 10 years have passed.

For me, each time I visit him now, it's more bearable. Not all the time, there's tears involved. And that doesn't mean I don't miss him. I just get better at keeping control of the emotions.

Speaking of that, I haven't been going to see him as often as before anymore. Since Friday is a public holiday for most of us, we shall bring his lover and spend some time there.

One of the sad thing is Koay never got the chance to get to know him. Someone who is too close to my heart. Growing up with him being one of my grandparent makes me very blessed. Very very blessed.

Okay, enough of me getting too emotional here. Definitely not helping that I'm in office now.

Have a great movie day you all :)

Sabrina Is One Year Old.

Guess who got the special invitation to a lil girl's special first?

Guess who gotta wear pink?

Me!

Now, I'm guessing most of the people know that pink is not my color. Far from it actually. I hated pink all these years but it actually got better as I age. Sad news. I don't hate it as much as I did before. So yeah, for this birthday party, all the ladies are required to wear pink or at least have something pink on them. I do not have no pink top or pants. Actually I do have one, but it's too tight. If I have wore them, I would be like "walking bakchang".

When we got there, most if not everything was in pink. Pink balloons, pink cookies, pink jelly. pink sweets. pink everything. Good thing I was not too disturbed by all that color. My attention was pretty focused that evening. Babies. Lots and lots of adorable-i-want-to-bite-them-babies! First one that I carried was baby Lucas! Oh my goodness. I have never seen such a baby who smiles so easily. All I did was look at him and call his name, and a smile killed me instantly. Baby Lucas is toooooooo charming! You can see him in one of my Insta photo.

Sha Lynn was sleeping for the first half and hour, while the rest of the adults chit-chatted and kids running around playing with balloons. Oh oh and we had Thai Food for dinner! Yums. No tomyam though but still quite nice :) We left after they sang birthday song because lil girl was getting a bit restless and sleepy. That's why never get to try the Minnie Mouse's cupcakes. Pink cupcakes if you realized. Hahaha.

Photos are placed in random orders and taken from the two Tan boys. Joshua Tan and Leroy Tan and Jay (Lucas's daddy) and Damien (birthday girls's daddy).

 

That night was also the first night Sha Lynn sat so quietly in the car seat and enjoyed herself the whole way :) Can't wait to see her crawl, walk and talk.

Hypoglycemia.

Also spelled hypoglycemia or hypoglycæmia.

It is a medical emergency that involves an abnormally diminished content of glucose in the blood. The term literally means "low sugar blood"

It can produce a variety of symptoms and effects but the principal problems arise from an inadequate supply of glucose to the brain, resulting in impairment of function (neuroglycopenia). Effects can range from mild dysphoria to more serious issues such as seizures, unconsciousness, and (rarely) permanent brain damage or death.

  Less common in non-diabetic persons, but can occur at any age. Among the causes are excessive insulin produced in the body (hyperinsulinemia), inborn error of metabolism, medications and poisons, alcohol, hormone deficiencies, prolonged starvation (THIS IS LESS LIKELY THE CAUSE SINCE I ALWAYS EAT!), alterations of metabolism associated with infection, and organ failure.

It is often self-diagnosed and self-medicated orally by the ingestion of balanced meals.

And that is the definition copied from Wiki. I have no clue whatsoever to how this can even happen to me. It's so weird. I know I have been having low blood pressure since the appendicitis surgery, but what happened last Thursday was something I've never gotten for a very long time already.

So, I was looking into my desktop at work, when suddenly I couldn't breathe properly and my heart started beating really fast. I leaned back on my chair and took a few deep breaths. Didn't work, in fact it got harder to breathe. So, I swallowed big gulps of water thinking that it might help. Nope. I leaned back immediately after that because my vision started to blur and within seconds, blackout happened. I couldn't open my eyes because the pain on my head was so intense and my whole body sort of just jelly-ed. I couldn't even pick up my phone from the table. I remembered feeling SUCH DISCOMFORT that's beyond words all over my body that few minutes. Cold sweat all over me. My office is a very cold place (you would kinda know if you follow me on Twitter) and my sweat was dripping to my back from my short hair.

It's crazy because my colleague turned to me and saw that my face was pale white including my lips. I called Koay 7 times after I got the strength to dial. 7 times because he wasn't with this phone. Wahh. Stress okayy. I thought that I couldn't even walk to his car, that he had to come up and actually carry me. But, thank God I regained back some strength to walk to the lif and to his car. It's crazy. I thank god with my whole being that I'm feeling better now and that it happened. But there is no way that I want that to happen again. NO WAY.

Thank God for chairs. If not, I would have fallen on the ground and it would seem like a big drama thing. And thank God I wasn't out on sales call. I was supposed to drive to Prai but decided to go on Friday instead. In the end didn't go also because I was on MC and couldn't drive for the next couple of days. It's mad crazy.

Now, I'm taking Sangobion, to increase iron due to the low blood pressure and stuff. Other than that, I have to take breakfast. Now, this is the difficult part. I only eat breakfast on weekends or holidays usually. I'm just not a breakfast person. So far, i find it still torturing having to swallow food down my throst early in the morning. DIFFICULT.

So, that's roughly what kinda happened last week towards the weekend. Other than celebrating Koay's birthday. I wonder if he's starting to feel as old as I am.. I remembered when I celebrated my 23rd, I didn't want to celebrate my other upcoming birthdays. It feels so horrible. Makes me feel so old. Goodness. But still, I'm thanking God that I'm still a breathing creation today.

Gonna continue writing the bible now. Peace out :)

Quick Sunday.

HELLO!

Just came back from little girl, Sabrina's first pink-polkadot-themed-birthday-party! Feeling a little woozy after coming home. Hmmm. Well, this week has been a very packed one. Hardly get any good sleep due to activities and plans here and there. The boy is definitely KO-ed at this moment. For me, the body is acting very weird. It feels horrible that you know you don't really have control to what the body is doing. Sucky feeling. Oh wellz, prayer always made me feel better if not okay 100%. 

Goodnight ya'll. 

Adrian, 23 years old and Sha Lynn, 3 months old.

So, today is two person's big day!

Baby girl is chun chun 3months to this date. Can't believe that it was 3 months ago that she came to this earth and we saw her pretty face for the first time. 

And then we have Koay who hits 23 today. Blessed Birthday Bangla! 

Here's a triple B for you! 

LOVE THEM BOTH TO THE MOON AND BACK!

Handwritten Bible.

So, in one of my previous post, I mentioned very briefly that I was gonna plan to write the Bible, message version.

And write the Bible, I did.

Yep, I actually decided to re-write the Bible, no matter how long it shall take. A man in the US took 4 years to finish the whole Bible, by writing it all by himself. King James version.

And I got inspired after reading that at a small corner of a magazine. Crazy huh? At least, it kinda gives me "something" sort of "feeling"! A good kind of feeling. A very therapeutic feeling. This feels even better than shopping.

So, to prepare for the first day to launch this writing Bible, I went and get a specific blue pen, and specific kind of A4 papers (which in the end I just took a new stack from Van's because I've got no time to buy).

So far, I've written till Genesis chapter nine and verse 29. This is the beginning and though I just realized that there's so much more to write and though I'm nowhere near the second book, I will still try to finish the whole holy book in three years.

A bible verse/chapter a day, will keep this heart in tune everyday. Okay, maybe it's not very rhythm-ic.

Oh wellz.

Ben Can Really Cook.

We called for a council meeting without the pastors to re-align certain things in fireBRANDS, and because Ben offered to do it in his house, he of course offered to cook his ever-famous-aglio-olio for us. For us, it's OF COURSE WHY NOT! Initially, I only expected for his signature spaghetti for dinner, but when we got there, it was way more than just a pasta dish.

IT WAS A FINE DINING Ben's style. No kidding! When we arrived, we could smell all those

wonderful herbs smell and he didn't want us to do anything, so we just sat and watched Masterchef Australia Season 4, which by the way did not help to make our hunger less. Imagine looking at those yummy food on the TV and smelling the aroma from Ben's kitchen.

Special thanks to Aunty Mee Thiew and Ben for blessing us with this amazing spread of lovely food!

We had Ben's amazing aglio olio spaghetti, roasted pork fillet with special Ben's sauce, squashed sweet potatoes, the ever amazing green salad and crispy garlic bread. THERE WERE NO LEFTOVER! NONE! ZERO!

It was that gooooood! So blessed.

Last night's council meeting was one of the longest that I've had. We talked about what we really feel, no filter. But whatever was spoken between those walls stays there. I'm thankful for this team.

Anyways, Ben should really start a catering service. Or a cafe. Or a Pasta Corner. Or just anything! You're an amazing cook, Mr Song Min. First time, I had three servings of spaghetti which is like so rare.

:)

The tummy was happy last night.

PTPTN Loan Turned Scholarship.

I mentioned once in Saturday Youth Service how God had blessed me way beyond my expectation in regards to my studies and college stuff. So, I have just received the official letter from the government turning my RM48,000 PTPTN loan into a full 100% scholarship. It is insane. I mean, all this while I knew I didn't have to pay it back since my graduation days, but to get the official letter is just a very rewarding moment and a reminder of how crazy God is. He is able to do anything.

A week before I got this letter, a friend told me that he was asked to pay back the "extra" that we got throughout our whole 3 years course. Because my course fee was only RM40,000 and I was given RM48,000 I had to pay back RM8,000. That was according to the government-person that spoke to my friend. And he did actually pay back the extra RM8,000. He was a first-class honor student too. But when I heard that, I knew God is in charge. So, I wasn't bothered by that info. A week later, a letter that clarified otherwise. Whoa. Crazy huh. 

It gets easier like 0.1% each time I go through this kind of thing with the Big Man. It always gets easier trusting that He is in FULL control. His ways are the most rewarding. His timing is chun-nest of all. I'm grateful. Very grateful.

Two years already since we parted ways. College people, appreciate every moment you spend with your collegemates. Those times are precious. You may not see/feel/know it now. But once you leave and graduate, every part of your being wishes that you could turn back time once again. Maybe except for those assignments due dates and exams. But the hanging out and road trips and the group study till midnight and sleepover parties, boy do I miss them madly. Not to forget, all the unnecessary dramas. Now, to plan for a dinner together with the full clan also takes forever. I miss being crazy and loud in classes. You really do not know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. It's really true.

Unbelievable Monday.

Thank God It's Friday.

Weekend is finally here. I'm nervous, just thinking of the match tomorrow.. First one we are going against fireBRANDS girls. Stress. This old girl long time no play sudah berkarat sini sana. And though I've played in quite a number of match, I still feel the adrenalin rush a day before. In short, today I feel nervous. Howz?

Just The Way You Are.